I haven’t talked to my family in a while.
I don’t know why I feel I cramp their style.
I love my grandmother.
I need her to smother me with her love.
I’m needy that way.
That’s how I always was.
Some would say a little too much.
My nana was always there, kind of like a crutch.
Even the lightest touch meant so much.
I wasn’t a normal child.
They called me the flower child.
There was a woman.
Her name was Karen, Karen Givens.
She had all the men and even some women.
She would go out there and do her thing.
I wondered how she got them to buy her jewels, necklaces and diamond rings.
I know now if she had wings she would have simply flown away.
Because her life was filled with an array of dismay.
She’d ask me, this little girl… don’t go please stay.
I’d leave home and stay gone for weeks.
I was hanging with dope fiends some real creeps.
I was staying out for weeks not getting any sleep.
Things were happening and the shit was real deep.
I’m writing all this because I need somebody to know.
My younger years were demon like, and real cold.
Winters were all year round.
My inner child lost never to be found….
STOLEN SHE WAS!!!!!
Stolen by the ignorance of time.
And I’m still trying to find.
It wasn’t my fault I was a child they were the adults.
My life was not theirs to take.
Always checking to see if I was still awake.
I still wake up screaming “GO WAY FOR CHRIST SAKES”.
If I could swim.
I’d swim across a lake.
If I could fly.
I’d fly across the entire state.
If I could climb.
I’d climb the highest mountain and drink from the purest of fountains.
And if I wasn’t scared of heights.
I might stand on top of a vista.
And listen to the wind SING,,,,WISHA-WISHA
I wish you weren’t here with me.
ANYONE BUT YOU!
Just to soothe my burdened soul that was stole.
STOLEN IT WAS!!!
I’m drifting off into some real dark shit.
It has trapped doors and a bottomless pit.
Anyway I called my grandmother last night and thank God every thing’s alright.
I could have just shared at one of those NA meetings.
But my twisted purpose I would have been defeating.
I’ll leave it all up to you to find.
I’ve said it before.
Hidden somewhere between the rhyme.
It’s 3 AM and I can’t really sleep.
Because I let my pen go to deep.
I’m looking at my dream catcher I got last night, waiting for my dreams to take flight.
It’s spinning over my head while I lay in my bed.
Oh yeah, and thanks for reading the thoughts in my head.
My dream catcher has this hypnotic spin.
I think I’ll relax and let it win.
So I can put my pen to rest.
And hope tonight I dream a little less.