I got a Secret…Author Unknown

My mother used to tell me I would go to kindergarten sucking my thumb

And I did

My mother used to tell me I would go into Jr. high school sucking my thumb

And I did

My mother told me I would go to high school sucking my thumb

And I did

My mother always told me I would go to college sucking my thumb

And I did

My mother told me I would be a senior citizen sucking my thumb

And I was

My mother told me I would die sucking my thumb

And I did

February 26, 2019 2

CREEPY HUGS – POETRY

I’m crying out to you

So please just love me

I’m obsessed with wanting to be loved

Like the mountain by the mist

Held by the vista and its foggy kiss

Even God loves the earth that’s not even worth the land it occupies

Dead lies of false love

Creepy Hug

And the pull that strains my brain

Hard to obtain compassion for this game

I’m sad by this lonely that runs thru these hollow veins

This lonely makes me crave cocaine

Can’t deal

Don’t want to deal with what was

Remembering those Creepy Hugs

February 18, 2019 0

He made me feel like I was in dream

With a lot of gentle

Mixed with a just enough mean

He touched me softly

And my nibbles arose

He even asked me if he could suck my toes

He was nothing like the last man I choose

He sucked on my nibbles

Like cherries to the seed

I was hungry for this ocean in me to be freed

I rolled over, trying to shift my weight

I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming

It felt like I was in some kind of dream state

He kissed my neck

And he made me moan

He looked in my eyes

Challenging my sensual tone

I tried to get up but he pinned me down

And all I heard was nasty, wet slurping sounds

He had me wet and paralyzed to the bed

His face disappeared and all I saw was his head

Finally he came up for air and kissed me on my face

I pulled him closer because I wanted to taste

And I licked his face leaving non of me to waste

I laid back screaming

Because his tongue felt so good

I really wanted to cum

I really felt like I could

He said

You better not cum

But every emotion in me won

When he went back down

And I began to scream

And I was pissed off when the flight attendant woke me

Realizing

It was only

Just

A dream

February 16, 2019 96

Wishing I was anorexic to throw up this mess

Heart pounding through my chest

Pedestrians moving slow just to watch this train wreck

In the midst of all the confusion

I try so hard to defuse them

To refuse them

The thoughts that sought after me

As I walk in the valley of the shadow of death

I fear all evil

The reason is treason is why those things hunt for me

And melts my candles dry way before that 100^th try

Grown in my pants doing the happy dance

Transforming sin

Only to begin the noise again

Like wolves in the night

The eye can’t see what the mind tries so hard to fight

Scrambling and fighting for what’s right with the wrong

Because God takes too long

Want to live not relive the forgotten, because the roots rotten

But I still try as my dreams fly by

I ain’t fuckin’ around with that evil sound that keeps talkin’ to me and comin’ to me, and wantin’ me!

And the light always shines on my weary soul!

In my heart of heart there’s something I know I need to do

But I can’t remember because I keep falling asleep

Wake me up from this possession I’m in

This desperation I’m in

Nailed to my own personal cross of sorrow

Waiting for tomorrow

To turn it all around!!!!

Before I hear that sadistic sound that knows my name and has everything to gain

But I’m back in that empty room

My own personal tomb

That I dressed up with flowers

Knick knacks

And curtains

To cover the cinder blocks that took me too long to stack

Some little girls waiting for me!

Some little girl is waiting for me!

Some little girl is waiting just for me!

And been waitin’ and waitin’

And she ain’t waitin’ for my sad to take me away

She got some things she got-sta say

Like

What took you so long?

February 14, 2019 9

Waiting for a real Jesus!

Inspired by

https://thecrimsonblogger.wordpress.com/2019/02/14/short-prayer-fragments-poetry/

He never hears me when I pray
Moving in this corrupt wrong
’cause waiting on God just seems to take too long
If He is the way, the truth and the light
Why did He allow my children to burn to death
In that house on Blue street in the middle of the night
I don’t care what artificial Christians say
Imposter, counterfeit, contrived
He’s just the typical cliché
A myth to reach the mass
Pastor looking boldly at my 13 year old ass
Mothers of the church turning up their noses calling me fast
My passions only made my Christ queasy
His sacrifice was heroic
Beautiful
I’m sure it didn’t come easy
Sinners
Sleep
Judas
Making haste while I’m weak

Placebo

Lord is it me though

I know your voice that freed us
So I wait

Patiently

For a real Jesus!

February 14, 2019 5

THANK YOU FOR THE INSPIRATION http://shackledandcrowned.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/friendship/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNoiZAFNYn4

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/a-thousand-miles-of-highway

We were like a thousand miles of highway

With never ending transitions

A tunnel

A pathway

To everywhere

I know we’ve been in la-la land

Somewhere far away on our journey to love

Random tokens of affection straddle my shoulder

And trickle down my spine

And I know he sees my silhouette dancing slowly for the moon

And yesterday he made love to me from across the room

And it was beautiful

Like all the times before

And it was nothing fancy but so much more

We were like a thousand miles of highway

Riding somewhere pass the end of the earth

Falling

We were…

We were falling in love

We played footsies from across the room

And he smelled me

Because I was his perfume

And no amount of turmoil could penetrate our portal

We were only mere mortals

But we were in love

When he touched me I felt his protection

This was not about sex

But so much more

We were exempt from

Economics

Social acceptability

Or prejudice

He was my white

And I was his black

And there were no “Grey Areas”

We were in a magic place

We were…

On a thousand miles of highway

February 11, 2019 38

Lineage

I can’t find my shoestring to my left boot because I unlaced it to shoot up
High on this fentanyl shit
Can’t take it
Enough is enough
My veins are confused
These streets are too ruff
I keep hitting that same vein crying
Dying
Trying hard not to give up
Sick ’cause my friend overdosed
Tryna’ find what she had
Drooling
Hard
Saliva
Getting high with my dad
Can’t stomach this life but which way do I go
I’m already six feet under
Chasing this dragon far reaching
Plateau
I know these streets are cursed
I’m well versed
I’ve planned out my funeral I have it rehearsed
I’ve been living in this nightmare
A sick fantasy
Reversed
Get well or die trying
Can’t stand feeling this hurt
First things first
Gotta find me a bathroom to get this blood out my shirt
I cry because I want out
I cry because I have to get well
I fantasize about being a little girl again
Playing hide and seek and riding porcelain horses
Carousel
Every day gotta find me a way
Gotta find somebody
Somebody help me get well today
Daddy sister aunty and uncle were junkies
Granny was too
I shot dope in the bathroom everyday during school
Fourteen years old
Daddy shot me up first
Two days later daddy was dead
O.D’ed while at work
I stay high because daddy, sister and uncle are gone
Granny too
Its been thirty years
Acute
And I’m still looking for my shoe string I took out of my left boot