Ain’t no fun when the duck got the gun

Like Lauryn Hill said

“You might win some but you just lost one”

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide

I pray your pain is continuous

I want my wrath to be verminous

Nobody wins in this

Yea, I’m taking you on this tragic ride

I wanted to tie you up

Drag you to the Susquehanna River and drown you

But God may have gotten clever and baptized you

And I want you on the other side

My pain will never subside

You a damn lie

Always complaining about how hard you tried

And now I’m running

You pissed me off

 Played me for soft now look what it cost

You better pray that your soul ain’t lost

I know you feeling cold

 And it would give me great pleasure to watch your body mold

Yea your girl is cold

You wound me up tight

Caught you off guard no way to prepare for this fight

No recess or resets, we ain’t on set

Should have known you was no good the moment we met

Too late for apologies ‘cause you’re dead to me

The red looks good to me

You done released the CRAZY in me

I got your wife tied up in the basement just so she can look at me



Y’all took too much from me

I had to kill both of you and it’s destroying me

But I wake up and realize it wasn’t real


I’m too soft, and it just ain’t in me to kill




You say you tried while I cried

The guilt was eating you alive

Because it was me you deprived and still I rise

Baby, my guns were down even when you weren’t around

You wanted the streets more than you wanted me

And whenever you were around I had to beg and plead

It’s crazy because you knew my need

You watched my heart bleed and deprived me of my seed

I waited and waited but a sista’s got needs

Your mental crown turned upside down

 Every time you walked out that door

And I’d let you back like I was begging for more

Walking in our house smelling like a French whore

But you grabbed hold of me

Rough like I like it

 And I got excited

And it was hard to fight it

My passion for you always ran too deep

But you played me for cheap

 Thought we were playing for keeps

As much as I try not to

 I smell you when I sleep

I am done weeping

 And next time it’s my heart I’ll be keepin’

No matter how much damage you’ve done

It ain’t nevva stopped beatin’





How you so easily say you no longer love thee

And you no longer wish to be with me

All I do anymore is weep

As much as I try not to

 I smell you in my sleep

The love we shared always ran so deep

Like Romeo and Juliet

OH, such sweet sorrow

Until we meet again tomorrow

In our case, tomorrow never came

For today and tomorrow shall forever stay the same

As wonderful as love should be

It’s our love that set us both free

Our spirits for no one person could tame

It’s our desperate love that should forever stay the same

For we shall prove our love was never in vain

There will always be the tale of you and I

We will swim with the heavens and kiss the sky

The stars are envious of you and I

And the souls below

 It’s a mystery why we loved so desperately deep

There are many who can only weep

For they will never experience love so deep

For we dared such delicate sin

You and I together souring with the wind

Love a thousand times over could never compare

To the love we so delicately shared

To defy this love I dare


Him and I no one could ever compare

So be careful next time love comes knocking at your door

It will take your heart and so much more


And if you’re not willing to give it away

Then I’m warning you to stay out of love’s way



Intimate memories about how sweet he tastes

The way he kissed me and held my face

After such a long awaited chase

He stepped into my presence at such warp speed

My mind was telling me no

 But my heart wouldn’t take heed

This relationship was dangerous

 And the temptation was a need

The thought of him kept me up many nights

I prayed for one more day to keep him in my sight

I knew if I had him alone I could make things right

So I could tell him my side

I tried hard but my feelings were too hard to hide

I had to let him know these feelings would not subside

I tried to relax to get him out of my mind

I even play some music trying to unwind

Seconds later he’s back in my head

He’s not there physically but his scent is instead

I wish I could convince myself to see

That there is a garden behind the trees

And if I stop using drugs one day he’ll be with me

If only for one night

I apologized for tempting him

He put up a good fight

And I’m coming for him when the time is right

That’s why I loved when he worked nights

I’d walk into his office

Counselor —— can you help me please?

Him and his fancy shirts

 He’s such a tease

I asked him

“If I kissed you would you kiss me back”

He told me

“Sometimes things just happen”

 And I ran with that


Those words opened up a door

Not as much as his eyes they told me much more

If people only knew what went on behind that office door

There came a day I had to go and I missed him terribly

My patience was tested and I had to wait and see

The staff at that program thought I was crying because I didn’t Want to go

I was really crying because of him

But because of ethics no one could ever know

His position I was well aware

But emotions were involved and the situation seemed unfair

The day came and I had to leave

It was well worth the wait

 To see the garden behind the trees


Mark this day, I told you I’d be free

I was once blind but now I see

Mark this day, I told you I would be free

The devil thought he had captured me

Mark this day, I told you I’d be free

To get back what the devil stole from me

Mark this day, I told you I’d be free

Free to heal the wounds that are still open see

Mark this day, I told you I’d be free

Free to cleanse myself of all that has happen to me

Mark this day, I told you I’d be free

Free to warn some little girl because no one warned me

Mark this day, I told you I’d be free

Free to let go of the pain that’s so deeply rooted in me

Mark this day, I told you I’d be free

Free to let go of that one bad memory

Mark this day, I told you I’d be free

Free to give back what was so freely given to me

Mark this day, I told you I’d be free

Free to love someone because no one loved me

Mark this day, I told you I’d be free

Free to laugh

 Free to cry

And free to be who I want to be

Mark this day, I told you I’d be free

Free to love you and really mean it see

Mark this day, I told you I’d be free

Free to help someone who really needs me

Mark this day, I told you I’d be free


Free from hurting the people who tried to love me

Mark this day, I told you I’d be free

Free from hurting you

And free from hurting me

Mark this day, I told you I’d be free

Free to forgive someone who really needed it

 And that someone is


MY “VALLEY” (POETRY) w/ audio


Valleys can either make or break you

My Valley is lonely

 Isolated and full of deceit

Forcing me to retreat back to my shell

 I call a cell

Imprisoned to my own thoughts

Imprisoned to my own tormented mind

Way beyond the required time

I’m drowning in my own little house of horror

And my “Valley” won’t let me go

Silenced by my own paranoia

Afraid to accept LaToya just for whose she is

My intuition tells me I’m wrong

Because I’ve stayed in this “Valley” way too long

And I dressed it up with my own personal sorrow

Calgon won’t take it away

And Ativan only begs my “Valley” to stay


I’ve staked claims on many things

Only to find out they were all frivolous flings

But this “Valley” is mine

And I’m not even sure I want to leave

Scared to retrieve the rainbow after the rain

Not sure how grateful I am for the pain

But at least it keeps me in my “Valley”

Away from the world

 That would want nothing more than to eat me alive

My “Valley” helps me survive

I don’t have to talk, smile or converse

And those dreadful hugs that sometimes makes my skin crawl

I often think about leaving this “Valley”


When I first got here I promised myself I wouldn’t unpack


I knew when I noticed my toothbrush I had gone so far off track

Some say

“Just step out of the mud”

But until you’ve walked a mile in my shoes


It’s mine and I’m just not ready to leave

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