HAUNTED HOUSE (EXCERPT)

The things this house would tell me

So shaken by its pain

As I got older…

I started to believe everyone but me was sane

I looked at visitors with squinted eyes

Paranoid by their smiles

I made mental notes of each visitor

And planted them in my haunted files 

Their evil grins confused me

Like actors, I watched them take their place

While some blended with the walls

It was hard to hide their face

I told this house to leave me

And stop talking in my ear

No matter how hard I tried

The walls I could still hear

We moved and I was so happy

But the wall where still the same

The haunted house had followed me

And I was unprepared for these fucking games

EXILED (POETRY INSERT)

I heard the church folks whispering

That’s masstas son

Never in their bed, they raped us on patches of earth and vacant fields instead

Lynching

Disempowerment

Physically

And psychologically enslaved

It was Martin

Harriett Tubman

Rosa Parks

And many more who were brave

They would stand us up

Spin us around

And someone in the crowd would yell

I’ll take four

And the others were useless like confederate coins after the war

DANGER (POETRY INSERT)

His eyes weighed heavy on me like 500 hundred pound dumb bells

Hoping he couldn’t read into all my body language and what it could tell

Cause I was moved by his smooth

But was playing it cool

And was trying to keep to this first time rule

I really needed him to move from my side ways view

I was afraid he could see

The fear that lied in me

And smell the lust that rivaled in my mind

And made musical notes in a pattern down my spin

And he was poetry to my soul

From the top of my head to my pinky toe

I swear I felt him land

Dangling like candy above the palm of my hand

Because when I looked at him I saw nothing but man

And boy was I trying hard not to look

ONLY ME AND GOD KNOWS ( POETRY INSERT)

ONLY A FOOL CONTINUES TO THINK ABOUT

WHAT WAS

BUT WORST OF ALL

WHAT COULD NEVER BE

BUT BOY DOES IT HURT

THAT NO ONE CAN KNOW

BUT GOD AND ME

LOST GIRLS (INSERT FROM EPIGRAM)

http://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/lost-girls-poetry#play

I kept getting these visions over and over again

She’s probably high, real hard to defend

It was during my worst days that I prayed

I was walking through life’s crazy maze

and in an alley way there my friend laid

This was bad news

I was lost and completely confused

And was living in a world of self-centered fools!

I’ve been asking God to send me a sign

Leave this place, right now’s the time

This is where I’m at

This moment is mine

Should I stay?

Or should I go?

Please someone help me ‘cause I don’t know!

All I know is where I’ve been, near death experiences and 100% sin

I’ll never forget how I let this disease win

When I think of the fire I’ve survived

I often wonder why I’m still alive

God has this major plan and I’m so excited cause I haven’t ran

My friend got killed by some crazy man

But I believe she was part of Gods perfect plan

Some have to die for others to live

And for that reason I promise to give all of me to recovery

I have one chance to make this right

And for that reason I promise to always walk in Gods eye sight

Wanna walk in my shoes?

I don’t think so

These are places no one should ever go

 

 

INSERT FROM,,,WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG (POETRY)

AINT FUCKIN AROUND WITH THAT EVIL SOUND THAT KEEPS TALKIN TO ME, AND COMIN TO ME, AND WANTIN ME!!!

I curse the day I ever met that thing.

Laced me with his ring.

A covenant to bring me to my knees.

And death is what would please him.

My mask gives me much sass because it thinks it’s in charge.

Wishing I was anorexic to throw up this mess.

Heart pounding through my chest.

Pedestrians moving slow just to watch this train wreck.

Such tainted words form in my mind.

And the light always shines on my weary soul!

In my heart of heart there’s something I know I need to do.

But I can’t remember because I keep falling asleep.

Wake me up from this possession I’m in.

This desperation I’m in.

INSERT FROM “I SURVIVED” (POETRY)

 

BEAMING LIKE THE SUN!

 

SPROUTING LIKE A TREE!

 

AND EVERY DAY I WAKE UP, GOD WATERS ME!

 

MY PROCESS JUST STARTED!

 

AND I WILL PROBABLY NEVER BE DONE!

 

BUT EVERY NIGHT I GO TO BED!

 

I THANK GOD FOR WHO I’VE BECOME!