July 2012 – mentalnotes1

Daddy’s Little Girl

I’m a woman maybe just a girl.

Play with my pig tales and tease the boys.

Daddy says I was bad.

He’s looking real mean that makes me sad.

Every time daddy gets that look.

I run to my closet and grab my book.

I’d hold it close cause it knew all that daddy took.

My book knows things no one else does.

Can’t jump rope with the kids or play in the mud.

I wanted to figure him out.

I wanted to hear him say.

I waited for so many years for that very special day.

It’s a yearning inside that wouldn’t go away.

And that yearning inside wanted him to pay.

The resentment inside wouldn’t let me heal.

The only thing I knew was the abuse was real.

I couldn’t for the life of me let go enough to heal.

My sister and I had this plan, to run away from this dark evil man.

But when my sister climbed down the balcony pole.

I didn’t want to leave my three brothers and other sister so I didn’t go.

Here comes daddy…big and mean.

Get in here, my daddy screamed.

My daddy does things other daddy’s don’t do.

The teacher took pictures of my bruises at school.

My sister is gone and I feel all alone.

Daddy says I can’t use the phone.

My nana worried about me being all alone.

My mamma was killed when I was a little girl.

Shot in the face she fell to the floor.

Mommy is dead and daddy is gone.

And even though he did me wrong.

I hate his guts but I love him so much.

I needed a friend so I created Jen my imaginary friend.

My life would depend if she would show to keep me a flow.

Daddy, nana, my sister and I went to court.

I remember it was the last week in July.

Daddy tried to deny but the judge told daddy we were going bye – bye.

I was so glad but things stayed in my mind.

I think of daddy, I think of daddy all the time.

All I want to do is be free.

Free from these memories and free from me…….

Thank you, Daddy.

FIND SOMETHING YOU LOVE TO DO AND RUN WITH IT!!! PEOPLE WILL NOT BE AS ENTHUSED AS YOU, BUT THATS OK , JUST KEEP IN MIND THIS IS YOUR GOAL, YOUR PASSION NOT THEIRS SO KEEP GOING. IT IS NOT EASY TO SMILE WHILE RUNNING BUT TRY ANYWAY(:

I AM ON A CONTINUED SEARCH FOR PEOPLE OR THINGS TO MAKE ME BETTER, I LOVE TO BE MOTIVATED, EVERY ONE NEEDS A LITTLE PUSH. BEFORE JOINING THIS BLOG, I HAD A POETIC WRITERS BLOCK AND MY STYLE WAS THE SAME, RECOVERY, RECOVERY RECOVER, BLA, BLA, BLA. RECOVERY IS GOOD BUT I WANT TO BE ABLE TO WRITE ABOUT ANYTHING IF MY EYES SEE. I WANT TO BE POSSESED BY IMAGINATION LONG ENOUGH TO WRITE ABOUT IT. EVEN IF IT IS NOT PART OF MY OWN PERSONALITY, CHARACTER OR BELIEF. MY GOAL IS THAT MY READER READS IT AND BELIEVES EVERY WORD I SAY NOT KNOWING ITS JUST IMAGINATION. I HAVE WRITTEN A PIECE EVERY DAY, AND WHEW WAS I POSSESED…LOL, READING OTHERS WORK HAVE GIVEN ME SOME DIFFERENT VIEWS, BRIGHT IDEAS AND THE MOTIVATION I NEED TO WRITE ABOUT ANYTHING MY EYES SEE,,,,SHOUT OUT TO WORD PRESS.COM

FIND SOMETHING YOU LOVE TO DO AND RUN WITH IT AND REMEMBER IT IS NOT HOW FAST YOU GO JUST KEEP GOING!