I may leave the country with my psychosis in my backpack
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I have been to the east but it was the south that was cruel
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My name is Holly and I’m 27 years old
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I’ve been diagnosed psychotic and schizoaffective
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Bipolar 2 with psychotic features with dissociative identity disorder
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Formerly known as multiple personality disorder
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Diagnosis codes
F31.2
F25.9
F44.81
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What the fuck does this even mean
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They may have diagnosed me wrong
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Mamma says I’m just wired different
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I have Derrick, Mrs. Francis, Bubba and Maxine who live in my mind
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(Whispers) The boogie man came in my room when I was 6 and I haven’t been right since
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Maxine pretends to be my friend and is the loudest
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She’s a bully
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On many different occasions I’ve found myself in Kentucky Florida California and Ohio
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Hell I live in Pennsylvania
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I have little control over any of these personality
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Why are they in here
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I’ve asked them many times to go away
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I’ve stopped asking because I find myself in the behavioral health hospital
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I anger them and they all fight to stay
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As if I really have the power to make them leave
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I’ve tried I tell ya’
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Derrick always has me in lesbian situations
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By the time Holly returns the deed has been done
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Maxine told my mother I was a lesbian
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WHICH IS NOT THE TRUTH
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I’ve been to the behavioral health hospital 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 10 times
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The one I was born in
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I’m 27 and the doctor who birthed me is now my doctor
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How does one go from giving birth to diagnosing one crazy
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My imagination transmits the conversation doctor and mamma have from behind the wall
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Invisible lines that the last 3 presidents drew
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They and the FBI and the CIA conspire against me
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Am I crazy
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I speak 4 or 5 different languages
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I may leave the country with my psychosis in a backpack
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I wonder if my laughter when I’m at the McDonald worries the cashier
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I wonder if my PCP will 302 me again like all the times before
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I stopped taking my meds because I know the FDA is trying to kill me
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I wonder if they will accept me and my back pack in cuba
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I guess we will shortly find out
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My name is Maxine and please disregard all that Holly has written she’s not well
mentalnotes1 