Sinister (Audio Poetry)

Wires Hang me from lines

Feeling my dysfunction

Misused like concubines

Movement, sublime and gesture persuade this tri-polar mind

A thesaurus of recordings, memories and movies submit to my personalities

And there all listening

Waiting for the right time

Always skilled at entering unoccupied areas

In spite of danger signs

Paranoid

And church can’t sooth me…

Secret missions scythe my mind and carve 666 in a pattern down my spine

Behind enemy lines

Camouflaged into the walls

Something dragged me aimlessly down haunted halls

Where faces plague me past  images degrade me

And forces me to repeatedly listen to Blue October

Hate me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDxgSvJINlU

My emotions betray me then my thoughts berate me

I go adrift and they sedate me my instinct violates me and sensations date rape me

Till I wonder to nowhere

And everywhere

And become wonder woman

Doing 100 on 71 South

Demons position curse word to my mouth

My personalities ask me

Which way to go

Heaven or hell?

Critically Tryna’ blink myself into a southern bell

God made me ugly so He could love me

And you can hate me

I despise ever being born

I’m constantly begging God

To please relieve me of this thorn

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Sinister (Poetry)

 

 

Wires Hang me from lines

Feeling my dysfunction

Misused like concubines

Movement, sublime and gesture persuade this tri-polar mind

A thesaurus of recordings, memoirs and movies submit to my personalities

And there all listening

Waiting for the right time

Always skilled at entering unoccupied areas

In spite of danger signs

Paranoid

 

And church can’t sooth me…

 

Secret missions scythe my mind and carve 666 in a pattern down my spine

Behind enemy lines

Camouflaged into the walls

Something dragged me aimlessly down haunted halls

Where faces plague me past  images degrade me

And forces me to repeatedly listen to Blue October

Hate me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDxgSvJINlU

My emotions betray me then my thoughts berate me

I go adrift and they sedate me my instinct violates me and sensations date rape me

Till I wonder to nowhere

And everywhere

And become wonder woman

Doing 100 on 71 South

Demons position curse word to my mouth

My personalities ask me

Which way to go

Heaven or hell?

Critically Tryna’ blink myself into a southern bell

God made me ugly so He could love me

And you can hate me

I despise ever being born

I’m constantly…

I’m constantly…

I’m constantly…

I’m constantly…

I’m constantly…

And consistently…

Begging God

To please relieve me of this thorn

No Deviation (Haiku)

Off to grandmamma house

The scenic route is tempting

No feeding the bears

http://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/remembering#share

As I sat on the edge of my bed praying for redemption

I felt the knot in my gut spring up in my soul

My body went cold and the memories took control

And I asked God for forgiveness because only he knew what I did

And the people who did it…

I got rid of that thing because I knew it was his

And I hated him

The thing was a monster

I wanted it gone

I wanted it dead

But still so much a part of me

I did not want the world to see

What this man planted in me

I laid still frozen on my back

While I heard the chants from the windows

From murmurs priest and Catholic’s

Screaming

MURDERER!

As one single tear drop fell from my eye

And collided pass my ear and slid down my neck

And froze itself right their

Tickling my neck   

But this was not funny

And I dare not even crack a smile

I laid frozen on my back as the chants got louder

I refuse to cry because that would have been an admission of

Of…

Of…

Of something I dare not admit with this tongue

The thing was a monster

I wanted it gone

I wanted it dead

But still so much a part of me

This thing that lived inside of me

Was haunting me

And I heard him whisper

You are beautiful, as he brushed my hair to the side

Every night at 3 o clock in the morning

And I was mourning for my innocents

That I lost a long time ago

Now I live with this thing

This thing

This monstrous thing!

 

I just knew I’d be free…

As I laid there flat on my back

Spread eagle

Waiting for this thing to exit my womb

I wanted to bury it,,,

Tie a chain to it

And throw it in the sea

OF THE FORGOTTEN

AND THE FORGIVEN

So it can never again resurface

I was praying to have not

One

Single

Memory

Of this event

But here

I lay

20 Years Later

Still

Flat on my back

REMEMBERING…

Rest (POETRY)

I AM IN MY FATHERS PRECIOUS HANDS!!

And I just happen to be part of his perfect plan

I’ve been taken to that holy place

But never forget me when you feel the breeze

It’s me kissing your face

GOD MAKES ALL THINGS GOOD

And If I could stay you all know that I would

But he’s been calling me home for some time

And it feels awfully strange

Leaving so many loved ones behind

I want you all to know I’m in an AMAZING place

I’ve left you all with memories that can never be erased

Don’t worry I am fine

I’ve lived my life

And it was just my time

Life is as it should be

Cancer was the excuse but the truth is…

Jesus needed me!

We’re born to die

To live

And I gave life all I had to give

I am finally home

I see familiar faces so don’t worry I’m not alone

Please understand

I AM AT PEACE

Grieve me and dream of me in your sleep

And I promise you will remember when you awake

And all of you being here today

I want you to know this is no mistake

God is in the midst of it all

My name was in that book and I answered to His call

Smell me while you drive

Feel me in your hearts

Hear me in your children’s voices

Remember me but please don’t cry

Because I AM REJOICING with the lord

NEONS!!!!

Far beyond the sky!

HEAVEN!!!!!!

Notice me when the sun shines

When the light flickers

When my favorite song comes on

Feel me when the air is so still

And don’t second guess if I’m there

KNOW THAT I AM!!!!!

Because

I WILL ALWAYS

AND FOREVER!

Live in your hearts...