You touch me in places

Foreign to lingering lust

Where blood flows heavy

And veins pump deeper than an oceans rush

You take me over mountains

You make waters flow from some of the driest, emptiest of fountains

Hidden in a dream

You gave me babies to love me and called them queens

You sunk me into life

Long before I became your wife

You pumped love into my veins

And quoted scripture to repair my broken brain

What a tedious job picking locks and whispering through rusted chains

With nothing to gain

You

Loved

Me

You

Loved me

To

Life

I have loved you beyond my hearts ability

Screaming blasphemy at my own spiritual immobility

Lusting for life and my own mental fertility

I still love you beyond my own ability

I can’t even make love to you and it’s killing me

And here I am on the edge of hello

Or goodbye

I’m standing on the crossroad of

Love

http://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/crossroad-of-love

 

My wounds remind me that he is still present

Brought memory to my tears

And turned hearts into jilted crescents

Soft upon my groans

He made rigamortis shift

And threw wind to my broken bones

 Vacancies

Where spider webs scaled empty tombs

 Sad and troubled 

Still tryna’ fill this depressed room

Heart cold upon my floor

Chest pressed heavy against our martyred door 

I am desperate for these broken bones to be restored

An aching in my groans
He made rigamortis shift
And threw wind to my broken bones
Vacancies

Soft upon my pain

Harnessed

Heartless

Broken

Turbulence through this double face

What a broken place

Sand storms elude this chase

There was no one to catch the red that fell from this place

Double minded

Can’t rewind it

Because she will always wear

A painted smile

Today I woke up 

I was on top of the world

Last night I fell asleep and dreamt of Diamonds and Pearls

And children with lollypop swirls

Sometimes I don’t want to wake up

But I do

My thoughts always interrupt my sins

Mind over matter always wins

It sounds crazy and things seem hazy

But it’s funny cause…

Last night I dreamt of Diamonds and Pearls and little girls with cute little curls

The world seemed so small

When everyone else seems so tall

Towering over my faith

Small is where I’ve always felt safe

Life’s definition was confusion

Leaving room for the tall to come to their own conclusion

Last night I fell asleep on top of the world and dreamt of Diamonds and Pearls

It’s never amusing to the tall

The tall is clueless to this all

Wondering how the small has nine more lives than them

I was my only friend

One day the tall came to the small and ask

How can you live so foul?

I got angry like the animal I had become and growled

The small proceeded to say

It was one sunny day

I was walking

And I had forgotten to pray

The tall came to me in a rather suspicious way

My husband had just let me free

I was crying and couldn’t see

He started to sing

I will never forget the song

OLIVIA… 

I was young and didn’t know

That in the song…

Olivia was a hoe

He was cute

He asked me why I was crying 

I didn’t respond because emotions where flying

I wanted him to leave

But he stayed and introduced himself as Steve

He was nice

He had a few things

I guess I was enticed

He had on a grey shirt and brown tims

He walked away and asked me to follow him

He told me I could be happy all day

There was one catch he didn’t say

With my life I would have to pay

My heart was heavy that he could see

He asked me to go

And I agreed  

That day I explored

Steve had made me his whore

Days and days went by winters soured

I remember when life was pure

Until one day I met this miracle cure

Steve was gone and my life had become a sadder song

Will the song still be playing when the music stop’s

Will the beat still beat when my heart drop’s

I realized what Steve had done

He was playing games and having fun

Steve had done me in for sure

Off to make some poor girl his whore

Dammit when it rains it pours

Now I’m hanging with robbers and thieves

I was far gone, way pass Steve

Tummy aches

Coughing up blood

And having dry heaves

Now I knew I needed help

I cried out…

JESUS PLEASE!!!

Relieve me of the bondage of self

Because the tall and the small knew I needed help

Last night I fell asleep on top of the world

And dreamt of Diamonds and Pearls

I’m looking at myself and people are crying

There doves in the air and their even crying

My grandmother is hovering over me

Please don’t cry nana I’m free

But of course she couldn’t hear me

It was too late

A voice whispered…

I GAVE YOU A CHANCE TO DETERMINE YOUR FATE!

I haven’t died I’m right here

My soul is shook up and I’m real scared

Am I really dead?

Why is everyone singing that sad song?

And why is my sister reading my favorite poem?

Today I woke up on top of the world

And dreamt of Diamonds and Pearl

 

If I could sculpt myself a tear

I’d make it audible

Allowing even the deaf to hear

 

If I could sculpt myself a tear

I’d pant it purple

Signifying royalty

And make all the blue disappear

 

If I could sculpt myself a tear

I’d relinquish loneliness

And mix this liquid with a prayer  

 

If I could sculpt myself a tear

I’d give it an automatic reset

So that it would never be in need of repair

 

If I could sculpt myself a tear

I would never create it

Cold

And salty

Like

This world

         Play me a tear as salty as the sea

Look into my spirit

And give back all that belongs to me

What used to be

Thrust me a kiss

Puckered insidious upon my lips

Pay me restitution

Giving back all of this

Democracy

Blue seas

And red knees

Hypocrisy

Paint my canvas

Madness!

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