Case Study #1 ~ Therapy

Security did escort me out of my therapist office, well 4 of my previous therapist anyway but who’s counting

This was my 9th visit to doctor Hommer Crumb

Hommer Crumb

Hommer Crumb

Hommer Crumb

His name doesn’t scream come talk to me

For some reason I’m always paired with a man

They can’t be trusted around a big ass and titties

We talked about everything and nothing at all

I covered my breast really well, the eagle hoodie I wore to every visit was intentional

Frankly I was bored

Therapy doesn’t work for me

I’m convinced my brain is broken and doctors have planted something sinister in my head when I had my tonsils removed when I was 11

Yea, I was 11, maybe 10

That’s when it happen

The thing

The something

It

The incident

Occurrence

The situation

Episode

It was an event

The dirty deed, landmark 

The happening

The ugly  

I just pretend it was a dream 

Something ugly has happened again

Just my fuckin’ luck

I know its altered the thing the doctors planted in my brain when I got my tonsils removed when I was 10 or 11, I may have been 9

They put cha’ta’sleep ya know

4 or 5 maybe 6 doctors who I spate curse words at are convinced I need to talk about it

I mean…

If security wouldn’t have escorted me out the building this time again I may have gotten to it

But they never gave me a chance

I hate therapist

I don’t write sweet poems ~ Poetry

Chairs window pains and picture frames hold secrets
~~~
Misunderstood with tradition and verbs
~~~
Rifts creeks crevices and curves obey commands and surgically implant paranoia with bad words
~~~
I can see invisible people watching me hiding in the seams
~~~
While drums beat heavy from the rear of my twisted dreams

~~~

Naturally it’s the thing I wear

~~~

Everything is not always as beautiful as it may appear
~~~
I whisper truth to myself and pretend not to hear

~~~

Till poetry becomes aggressive and lines become smeared
~~~
Time has no expiration date and statute of limitations don’t exsist

~~~

Don’t ever get distracted it’s not always easy to resist

~~~

The thoughts

~~~

And I don’t write sweet poems

mentalnotes1

“Art hurts

Art urges voyages

– and it is easier to stay at home.”

“Be careful what you swallow

Chew!”

View original post

Casualties ~ Poetry

Darkness melted into my pain

One eye open to the sun

And my back to the moon

The earth whispers a calm

Graze memory

Casualties roam freely in wounded pastures

~~~

Seeds grow thick

And heavy

~~~

Till tears grew branches

And wrapped themselves

Into open wounds

And breathing

~~~

Became difficult

UPDATED 5/23/2023
It’s interesting the different response (Or lack of) I got by changing the image and title. The words are the same but the image and title have changed. It leads me to assume … The link below holds a powerful image seen by many all over the world. Click on the link to view the different image. An image and title change can shift the meaning ❤

Intubation (Re-Titled)

R.I.P George Floyd 5/25/2020 ❤

What the fuck is this !?!? – Poetry 2012

Is it cheating??

mentalnotes1

http://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/audio-recording-on-saturday

I didn’t mean to give myself to another
Or did I

He startled me as I turned around.
I heard that manly sound, that was him

I was caught off guard when he said

What the fuck is this!

I told my husband, it was only a kiss

I stood there in the rain as the gel from my curl set ran down my temple

I love you, I said, and again, he said

What the fuck is this!!

I, I, I, as I stuttered to try and find the words

My mistress stood there pleading with her eyes for me to acknowledge her

She wanted me to say, this is the woman I’ve been seeing every day

But I stood there
Blank

As I watched my husband’s heart sink into the earth with the rain

I wanted to reverse this pain

He said again with much more authority

View original post 57 more words

I found you – Poetry

One breeze

Bent me to one wind

And I found you

Little bird

Insanity – dVerse

I waited

While I live inside this twisted place

My fish died but I’m still alive

That is unquenchable

And breathing became difficult

Attitude

And green with envy

I’ve been left by the wayside

I smile and I curse

Made time against me

And turned me hungry

You catch me

All along was really ME

Such a painful death

Thru my heart

Where pain will be no more

Mourning was well on its way

You will stay with me and you’ll stay until the very end

Free me from this rag

It was only just a dream

***

https://dversepoets.com/2022/12/01/mtb-in-my-end-is-my-beginning/

No preposition, conjunctions or change of tense, just the last lines of my most recent poems.

I Waited for November (dVerse) Audio

OCD (Poetry)

Untitled

Intubation (Re-Titled)

Mathematics (Poetry)

Broken Sips (dVerse)

Way Side (Written for dVerse Poets)

Hands (Poetry)

Hungry

Catch me

HAUNTED HOUSE(AUDIO POETRY) HAPPY HOLLOWEEN (:

PAINFUL DEATH

DROWNING (POETRY)

Caged

Mourning

FREE ME (POETRY W/ AUDIO)

NERVOUS BLEEDING IN MY BRAIN (POETRY W/AUDIO) RATED R

WET DREAM (POETRY)

I Waited for November (dVerse) Audio

Painting by Edward William Cooke, Venice, A November Evening in the Lagoon (1859)

I waited

She said this was the safest place

It was 1800 hours and I felt the sadness engulf me

As I looked on past the sunset

Blank with guilt

I waited

And I waited

And I waited for her

Days came

And they went

The sun shifted

And it bent

I talked to the gods

Bowed my head hopeful this would be rectified if I repent

But the water

Froze still

And the quiet consumed me

And I knew

She was gone

But 

…

I waited

https://dversepoets.com/2022/11/29/poetics-the-landscape-sleeps-ekphrastic-prompt/

OCD (Poetry)

I need a hospital to sooth my broken lows

Free me

While my OCD has me counting

Every

Memory

Since 1963

And they lied to me

So I shower

Obsessively

Over

And over

And over again

And I’m well aware

That I’m fckin’ weird

I am a complete waist

Stay with me

While I live inside this twisted place

Untitled

Closed in a world of what’s to be

Can’t you see it’s me in the distance

Blank with resistance

Hard to tame

Sensations knows my name from past games

Nowhere to hide

Pain is greedy and the heart is needy

Beauty is all over me

Social anxiety

Thoughts lie to me

The truth and its reality

Pain shared is pain lessened

Living in the lesson

Trapped in my mind

Hiding from my own behind

Because it’s time that searches for me

I allowed the dark to creep into my rain

Because I can’t sustain without at least a little pain

My fish died but I’m still alive