Breathe (Poetry W/Audio)

I died
Until the fever broke
Weakened the noise
The air still sobbing
Until breathing became difficult
My fish died but I’m still alive
Surely the moon knows my name

Lineage (Poetry W/Audio)



mentalnotes1

I can’t find my shoestring to my left boot because I unlaced it to shoot up
High on this fentanyl shit
Can’t take it
Enough is enough
My veins are confused
These streets are too ruff
I keep hitting that same vein crying
Dying
Trying hard not to give up
Sick ’cause my friend overdosed
Tryna’ find what she had
Drooling
Hard
Saliva
Getting high with my dad
Can’t stomach this life but which way do I go
I’m already six feet under
Chasing this dragon far reaching
Plateau
I know these streets are cursed
I’m well versed
I’ve planned out my funeral I have it rehearsed
I’ve been living in this nightmare
A sick fantasy
Reversed
Get well or die trying
Can’t stand feeling this hurt
First things first
Gotta find me a bathroom to get this blood out my shirt
I cry because I want out
I cry…

View original post 108 more words

Winter stayed and every beat in my heart was hollowed and delayed ❤

mentalnotes1

Fire stones rip through my daydreams

Strong holds

Schemes and tactics

Screams

My name

And life never seemed the same

Winter brought pain froze still up against this game

It was an evil twist

Loving you beyond the bliss was a wicked kiss

That blamed him, her and daddy

For all of this

My heart missed every season

I thought it was you that gave life meaning and reason

But winter stayed

And each beat in my heart was hollow and delayed

Bottomless floors

And empty doors

Were prolonged

For way too long

Until winter

And snow flakes

Froze still

Upon my lips

Where a thousand rips

That brought lessons

To this season

 

View original post

Randomly posting old pieces ❤

 



mentalnotes1

The seclusion

The confusion

Tryna’ lose them

THE THOUGHTS

Pray for me

Stay with me

Just lay with me

Stay away from me

INSANITY!

The pain I can’t keep you from

No matter how hard I try

My spirit won’t let me run

From

THE PAIN!

The contusions

Cant move them

Didn’t choose them

Can’t sooth them

That’s why

Time is an Illusion

The minutes

Hours

Days

They won’t let me forget

That it’s the thoughts

In your head

I try and resist

Yes

YOUR THOUGHTS

I’m not psychic

But sometimes I feel you and it’s heavy

And can’t no levee tame your tidal wave of emotion

AND I AINT TALKIN’ BOUT LOVE…

If I knew what you knew

I’d tell time it was a lie

But the truth can’t be ignored

No matter how hard I try

EVIDENCE!

I can’t put expectations on TIME

Because it will always let me down

View original post 38 more words

Happy Mother’s Day ❤

mentalnotes1

My love is

Deeper than an oceans wave

To pave a twisters fall

Tides cave

And lovers wave

From beyond this epic crawl

Paradox hold shoulders

Under an oceans rock

And that’s why my love for you will always be

Deeper than any world

A fantasy can unlock

Deeper than an ocean

Happy Mothers Day ❤

View original post

The Language of Love

I lay and I think

Love can happen in one simple wink

And has many times before

Love is something we’ve all explored

Chances we take

That either makes or break our opinion of love

Fields of emotions

Like a rose that we chose

A risk we take, it’s a big deal because it’s our hearts that’s at stake

Love is like a fire, an arsenal of desire, a whirlpool of devotion, and weird subliminal notions

Bottled up it’s the heart’s magical potion

Love can be good; love can be bad, love can be happy, love can be sad

It’s all up to you

Just as cool as the wind or as painful as a pin poking at your gut

We’re so easily caught up in love’s clutch

Or as beautiful as the symphony or diamonds from Tiffany’s

Love can be sweet as candy or… fine and dandy

Or as spectacular as fire works with quarks and perks

Depends on me and how far my love is willing to see

My love sees rainbows and daffodils like a roller coaster with thrills and exciting twists

Or that first passionate kiss

Have you ever listened and heard like a baby’s first word

It rained yesterday and guess what I saw?

I saw tear drops constantly fall

I love the sound of rain

Love should not mean pain

I used to think love could meet me on the moon and never would be too soon

We should nurture love and give it every chance we can

I choose to vent love through my pen and hope this time love will win

Love has been a symphony of dreams and I’ve always been on the losing team

Love can be a fire hard to tame

Or fall in love and not even know their name

Love has no faces and doesn’t discriminate between races

Love can be paint on a canvas

Splashes of love

Overwhelming hugs

That runs through my veins like drugs

Love is lily’s and quiet little walks in South Philly or silly little looks

That’s the language of love

When I think of love I think of hearts being colored in red or children being told stories before they go to bed

When I think of love I think of pastures filled with butterflies or teachers teaching children how to make tie-dye

When I think of love I think of how excited my grandma was when she brought my first bra

When I think of love I think of leaves changing colors in the fall and couples holding hands while shopping in the mall

When I think of love I think of angels being sent down to lend a hand or birds playing footsies in the sand

Love will be here when we’re dead and gone love has been here all along

Love is something money can’t buy

Love has many questions…

But no answers

So don’t ask love… why ?

Use the universe as your source

Allowing love to take its course

100 YEARS

100 years to exist here,
Chasing eternity
Nothing is as it appears
Frightened tears leap from my face
Time is not steady moving at its own pace
The clock at war with fate
It’s a deceptive chase
My cat has 9 lives but fights to stay alive past 8 teen

Or somewhere in between
And I wish
I wished
I wished the whys

We’re all going to die
Why are we tied to this troubled lie called purpose and destiny
100 years left the rest of me
And I wish
And I wished
For my cat to have
100 years

Tombstones in my Mattress

I’ve got Tombstones in my Mattress 

Waiting for the next certain death

To join this grave site of men and women I have not yet met

I deem it over before it begins

And I mourn these relationships

Over

And over again

I got Tombstones in my Mattress

And I practice pretending they aren’t there

Potholes and traps for all who enter these tomb filled snares

I got ash cans and grey post

That line the belly of this seam

I got construction going on

In the trinkets of my dreams

In the pit of my Mattress

I call it the dead zone

Their building a fortress

And fences

Calling it their home

And they aint even paying rent

I evicted two tenants

And  could care less where they went

I’ve got Tombstones in my Mattress

And I’m prepared to burn this dwelling place

I can’t sleep at night

Without these men staring me in my face

These tombstones have been constructed for over twenty long years

And their comfortable in my bed

Playing spade and swallowing down imported beers

I’m not sad

Depressed

Or angry

I just want these men gone

They’ve been sleeping in my bed with me for twenty years too long

I got diamonds hidden in these dirt filled tombs

Being smothered by dandelions and oversized poisoned mushrooms

My bed has become crowded

And the only person I’m angry at is me

Because I have allowed these men to literally enslave me

I’ve got souls that I desperately need to set free

I keep these memories alive and I hate the reflection I see

I got construction workers knocking walls down building rooms to be filled

While I’m shoveling dirt working hard to empty this dirt filled mill

Gatekeepers come from nowhere, hired in this dark ground of doom

I’ve invited men in to fill these empty tombs

I cannot stand being cramped up in my own bed

I demised a portal

For people who have long time been dead

They have decomposed

Honestly some of them I don’t even know

It’s God awful that their locked in this trench

I’m not sure how much longer I can tolerate this awful stench

Every tombstone has a different face

And a different name

But they’re not much different at all

Really their all the same

I got all these people living in my bed

And it’s deep

It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten a good night’s sleep

I am on the brink of something really big

Tonight, these men are getting the hell up out of my bed

I want to be rid of this affliction

So tonight, I’m sure I’ll be handing out some evictions

Endless tears

Endless tears fall on seasons

A valley long to describe a kiss

Of blinded bliss

To wish a where

To bend a tare

The deepest parts of my pubic hairs

That left a tear

Falling

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