The floors creaked and the halls reeked of many things

And this house knew just what hell this dark could really bring

Drunken silhouettes lined the walls staring blameless straight ahead

Mouthing bad words backwards of everything this house has said

Toy clowns make sounds that only this house could hear

The little girl who lived inside knew

But the others were unaware

Because her eyes saw thing they didn’t

Then the image would disappear

Mom, dad and little girl walked quietly down the halls

Shadows stared pointing fingers

From behind these haunted walls

The air is cold

The wind is strong

Inside this haunted house

The little girl heard every word

But to the visitors

This house stood quiet as a mouse

Mummified tombs

And vacant rooms

Consumed this haunted house

The stench became stronger

Straight from its haunted mouth

And when she tried to warn others that things were not all clear

They looked at her

Patted her head

And brushed her off as weird

The things the walls would tell her

They often cried out loud

She covered her ears

Shook her head real hard

The words were not for a child

I knew the house was black

But the visitors would say…

What a pretty color blue

I looked at them with tainted thoughts

And just pretended everyone else knew

The things this house would tell me

So shaken by its pain

As I got older…

I started to believe everyone but me was sane

I looked at visitors with squinted eyes

Paranoid by their smiles

I made mental notes of each visitor

And planted them in my haunted files

Their evil grins confused me

Like actors, I watched them take their place

While some blended with the walls

It was hard to hide their face

I told this house to leave me

And stop talking in my ear

No matter how hard I tried

The walls I could still hear

We moved and I was so happy

But the wall where still the same

The haunted house had followed me

And I was unprepared for these fucking games

I met the next door neighbor

A boy about my age

I seen the faces peer at me

Beyond his twisted rage

He had something trapped

He held it close

He kept it in a cage

I knew I had to be dreaming

Please turn this FuCking page!!

I asked him what it was

He said his haunted house

But there was nothing in that cage

But just a simple mouse

I couldn’t make him see

What he believed was really their

I looked at him

Shook my head

And brushed him off as weird

We look from different lenses

And it’s hard to find the truth

After meeting this boy

I knew it was time

To do some construction on this haunted roof

It’s frightening to believe that…

I was my haunted house

I silenced the walls

They cannot speak

I WROTE away their mouth

The sun could not penetrate these dark and hollow walls

I try not to answer even when the voices call

Now, the cries are still here

But muffled and not so clear

A lot of the things the house said to me

Was really hard to fucking hear

The meds help tame the thoughts

And the voices from the walls

The house is not that scary

But really very small

The walls are really angry

I suppose because I am FREE

I now know

That this haunted house

All along was really ME

 

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/audio-recording-on-saturday-1

LaBella

 

My sweet LaBella

Secrets are taking over me

For

I have to make room in my soul

They have nowhere to call home

Throw off your shackles and lead your life

Labelle

They pester me like ticks on a man’s skin

My heart has no purpose

My soul

My poor soul is ravished

You laid a leach on my heart

 

On my soul!

 

Unburden these chains

Do you have the secret tablets?

Who possesses the secrets to bliss?

 

Who!

 

Cement our future

Pregnant me with imagination

I have not yet read a poet that compelled me to read him

Continuously

With blood on my hands

My soul cries out

Cut out my heart!

Snatch the locks from my head

If I am not cured of this distain you will forfeit your vitals

They know you love me king??

I promise I will return and grow old by your side

Throw of your shackles and lead your life

Resign from this tyrant of tongues

Is winning everything?

Or is knowing?

I will place my hands on your crown

And place it on my sons head

Those that will breathe this life in the next millennium

What sad souls

I am riding the embers of these aches

 

I am LaBella

And I will die alone

A wrinkled

Old slut   

THE GARDEN BEHIND THE TREES (POETRY)

Intimate memories about how sweet he tastes

The way he kissed me and held my face

After such a long awaited chase

He stepped into my presence at such warp speed

My mind was telling me no

 But my heart wouldn’t take heed

This relationship was dangerous

 And the temptation was a need

The thought of him kept me up many nights

I prayed for one more day to keep him in my sight

I knew if I had him alone I could make things right

So I could tell him my side

I tried hard but my feelings were too hard to hide

I had to let him know these feelings would not subside

I tried to relax to get him out of my mind

I even play some music trying to unwind

Seconds later he’s back in my head

He’s not there physically but his scent is instead

I wish I could convince myself to see

That there is a garden behind the trees

And if I stop using drugs one day he’ll be with me

If only for one night

I apologized for tempting him

He put up a good fight

And I’m coming for him when the time is right

That’s why I loved when he worked nights

I’d walk into his office

Counselor —— can you help me please?

Him and his fancy shirts

 He’s such a tease

I asked him

“If I kissed you would you kiss me back”

He told me

“Sometimes things just happen”

 And I ran with that

 

Those words opened up a door

Not as much as his eyes they told me much more

If people only knew what went on behind that office door

There came a day I had to go and I missed him terribly

My patience was tested and I had to wait and see

The staff at that program thought I was crying because I didn’t Want to go

I was really crying because of him

But because of ethics no one could ever know

His position I was well aware

But emotions were involved and the situation seemed unfair

The day came and I had to leave

It was well worth the wait

 To see the garden behind the trees

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