I WATCHED MY CLOCK TICK
12AM
I LAID IN MY BED
MY MIND PLAYING WICKED GAMES WITH ME
12:01
:02
:03
:04
AND ON
AND ON
AND ON
12:16
UNTIL I SNAPPED
AND WALKED AWAY
FREE
GOODBYE HEROINE 2 (Poetry W/AUDIO)
https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/goodbye-heroin
Goodbye Heroin II
I can’t stop loving him no matter how hard I try.
I will probably hate him until the day I die.
I often ask myself the question why?
He has never been good to me always treated me bad.
Left me ugly alone and feeling sad.
By the way, he’s such a tease.
Cant’ fall asleep without awakening with a cough or constant sneeze.
There’s those days when he’s missing and I need a shoulder to cry.
He was always there but our relationship was one big lie.
I left him once but I felt like I would just die.
I crawled back on my knees.
And he accepted me back without hesitation, he was pleased.
When I left him, I refused him because he killed a friend.
Now I understand why she loved him until the end.
When she was hurting he was the only one to whom she thought she could depend.
I used him and immediately the pain went away.
I remember we began to hang out every day.
I missed him so much because he was always there.
Almost like a game but he wasn’t playing fair.
It took too long to realize he never cared.
I feel like such a traitor, I told her I’d say no.
I saw him one day and we both went toe to toe.
I wasn’t really feeling that good about me.
He whispered try me you’ll feel better I promise you’ll see.
I read one day about the way he met her.
She expressed how good he felt one day in a love letter.
I was scared and for days and days I hid.
But he knew everything even where I lived.
So I fell in love and gave him all I had to give.
It was like I was in a movie no way for a girl to live.
At first I was jealous of their relationship, because I didn’t know.
That eventually all these horrific events would occur.
You the devil…
Yeah, you in disguise.
I bet you never thought we’d break these ties.
How stupid could I be?
I thought he was my friend.
This is my life I’m taking back.
I’ll never let you win.
Devil, you don’t know the strength behind this pen.
That’s why I wrote this poem for everyone to know.
I’m exposing you heroin so take your tricks and go.
FREE ME! (POETRY W/ AUDIO)
http://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/free-me
TAINTED BY THE BEAUTY OF THE AMARICAN FLAG
A WARPED VISION
ITS DISGUISE
A RED, WHITE AND BLUE RAG
DEEP IN THE BYOU’S WERE THE BABIES MY GRANDMOMMA HAD
WHILE GRANDPOPPA LOOKED ON ANGRY, POWERLESS AND MAD
LAND OF THE FREE
YOU CANT FOOL ME
THIS RAG IS TAINTED WITH HYPOCRISY
RIVERS STILL TORTURED, DAMS STILL RED
AND SHE USE THAT SAME COLOR TO REPRESENT OUR FUTURE THAT’S STILL DEAD
CENTURIES
OLD HAG!!!!
I AINT GOT NO LOVE FOR THIS CLOTHE
SO F*** THE AMERICAN FLAG!
Please don’t come for me in the comments, it’s called creative freedom ❤
MISTRESS
I met him; I fell in love with him
I knew he wasn’t mines
But he grew on me
Like a 19th century bottle of
Old money kind’a wine
She knew about us for years
And for years she took a back seat
Because she knew without me
His heart was strangely weak
He was a police officer
And in the line of duty, he was shot
I screamed!
Please tell me he is not dead!
Please tell me he is not!!
He laid in the hospital
In that dreadful coma for 20 long weeks
It was not her body he longed for
Between those hospital sheets
It was hard for her to deny
Because she knew if she did not find me
Her husband would surely die
This woman knew he was in love with me
And only wanted her husband to survive
So willing to do anything
To keep her husband alive
She grabbed his phone
Braced herself
And stood up on her feet
She sought me out knowing
His heart was strangely weak
I laid with him
And she approved of me
In that hospital bed
She silently requested help
And pushed me towards his bed
A few days later he awoke
I jumped up from between the sheets
And it killed her
As she looked on
Knowing
I was the reason
His heart still beat
Its been three years now
And she is still his wife
And everyday
I regret the day
I saved that bastard’s life!
MORNING DEW ( HAIKU W/AUDIO)
https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/morning-dew-haiku
The sun brings mourning
Swept away like yesterday
And today I smile
What the fuck is this !?!? – Poetry
http://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/audio-recording-on-saturday
I didn’t mean to give myself to another
He startled me as I turned around.
I heard his manly sound
It was him
I was caught off guard when he said
What the fuck is this!
I told my husband it was only a kiss
I stood there in the rain as the gel from my curl set ran down my temple
I love you
I said, and again, he said
What the fuck is this!!
I, I, I, as I stuttered to try and find the words
My mistress stood there pleading with her eyes for me to acknowledge her
She wanted me to say, this is the woman I’ve been seeing every day
But I stood there
Blank
As I watched my husband’s heart sink into the earth with the rain
I wanted to reverse this pain
He said again with much more authority
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!!!!
If it was only a kiss why is she crying
I stood there
Trapped
But if I walked away now I knew I’d miss her
We all just stood there
In the rain
Blank
As I thought
What the fuck is this!
Voice – Poe-Estory Warning: Very sad poem
https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/voice
His name was Tommy and his spirit’s alive and well
I hope you don’t mind it’s his story I shall tell
He would be 37 but at the time he was 12
And for many years his life was a living hell.
It’s his father he despised
All his sneaky ways and dirty little lies
His dad was strange in many different ways
What Tommy didn’t know is his dad had full blown AIDS
His dad was in denial; he wouldn’t take any meds
Every night Tommy’s dad would cry then come lay in Tommy’s bed
Tommy was 12, to him a man, he knew this wasn’t right
He’d lay there quiet, he dare not fight
He was 15 and with every fiber he said NO!
His dad looked at him and they both stood toe to toe
Tommy stood strong as his dad raised his fist
This was his life and wasn’t it supposed to be a gift
Life’s meaning erased
And even his favorite pie had a bitter taste
He started feeling strange but he didn’t want to believe
His dad had given him this horrible disease called HIV
Tommy’s life at this point, he felt like he had no say
Because the thoughts and feelings he was having surely made him gay
His father died and he was glad to see him go
He was a constant reminder of this disease and no one else could know
This thing had him tossing and turning all through the night
He was tired and said, Toya, I just don’t have the strength to fight
Tommy let the years pass him by with each passing day
The truth was he was scared and let fear lead the way
He was like a shadow chasing the sun until it disappeared
Tommy was lost and bound to a zillion little tears
Strangely his first semester class did a project on children with AIDS
And he decided to take his life back on that very special day
As he walked through the hospital children marked by sores
Babies in small bubbles; his heart was completely torn
He ran to the bathroom and cried until he hit the floor
He asked God; please tell me what is all this for
I don’t do drugs
I don’t sleep around
And Tommy didn’t want to be gay
His dad was just a real sick man that took his innocence away
For all the children who don’t have a choice
Tommy decided to take a stand and be the children’s voice
He stood in front of thousands and said
My name is Tommy and I have AIDS
And I’m speaking for all the little people who become victims every day
His body’s 6 feet under but his spirit is still alive
And if you’re reading this then his spirit has survived
This is Tommy’s way of continuing to be the children’s voice
This is for all the little people who never had a choice
Thank you Tommy
FALLACIES (30 DAYS OF HAIKUS) REPOST W/AUDIO
http://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/fallacies-haiku
PIECES OF MY DREAMS
FALLACIES OVER TAKE ME
FREE ME FROM MY TRUTH
DECIEVED (POETRY W/AUDIO)
https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/deceived
Walking blindly into a deep abyss.
Vulnerable…
But still willing to take that fatal kiss.
DECEPTION…
The cover that loomed above.
Drowning in a fantasy of lies and forbidden love.
Smeared with deception so thick it couldn’t be cut.
Needing so desperately to close a door I was unable to shut.
My heart is so heavy and my belly won’t obey.
My mind says one thing, but the ache in my heart won’t go away.
This fantasy I created.
Oh, how I wish it were real.
But my anger won’t let me forget what this man tried so hard to steal.
Its only been a little while.
I was empty.
And so it didn’t take long.
Before my fantasy turned into that same tragic song.
Denial was the essence that enabled me not to see.
That this man was not my future or even part of my destiny.
DECEPTION mailed with a smile.
I could see it for miles but laid in my own denial.
Trails, tracks and footprints so many clues.
Can’t blame him cause I chose to play the fool.
Heart won’t stop pounding thru my chest.
Could be feeling worse thought I had mastered this mess.
Tired of feeling my own heartbeat!
Tired of listening to my own lies!
Though I know the truth I still lie in my own denial!
Got to force myself to eat!
Tossing and turning between my own sheets.
I finally ball myself up in a knot and cry myself to sleep.
Accepting complete defeat.
On my knees praying, crying and begging God for emotional freedom…
But still wanting so, so, so, so, so, so badly just to see him.
Just to kiss him.
Just to touch him.
Justa, justa what!!!!
Well if I knew I wouldn’t be writing so fucking much.
My thinking is so jilted its hard just to concentrate.
But I’m going to hold on and if I do eventually I will be back in a peaceful state.
I will get thru this and there will be another guy and hopefully I won’t have to tell the next one goodbye.
One more thing, I WILL NOT GET HIGH.
Loveme
Loveme
Loveme
Loveme
Loveme
Loveme
Loveme
Loveme
Loveme
PleaseLoveme!
POETIC JUIC (POETRY) I AM NOT A RAPPER W/AUDIO (:
http://soundcloud.com/you/tracks?page=2#play
PERRIZZITES LAY BABIES IN MY BRAIN
FORCING POETIC GERMS FROM THESE MYTHOLOGICOL VEINS
I WRITE AND PUT MY RANDOM THOUGHTS IN MIND CARVED FRAMES
AND I BASK IN MY GLORY PLAYING THIS POETIC GAME
MY PASSION HAS NO MERCY
IT HAS NO SENSLESS SHAME
I’M SWORN TO SECRECY
I HAVE NO POETIC GAIN
Chapter 2
I SAVOIR EVERY IMAGE
BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO WAISTE IT
RUNNING FROM THE ANTI-CHRIST
BECAUSE I KNOW HE WILL HATE IT
USING THIS POETRY TO SOOTH MY POETIC NERVES
BUT THE TRUTH IS I’M LOST WITHOUT THESE PROPHETIC VERBS
PROPHASEING LIARS SCREAMING IN THE STREETS POETIC WORDS
DEAD WORDS WAS HIS ANTHEM
AND EMPTY WORDS IS WHAT I HEARD
Chapter 3
I WRITE UNTIL MY FINGERS BLEED
MAKING BABIES TO ADD ON TO THIS POETIC BREED
AND MY GARDEN IS WHERE I PLANT THESE POETIC SEEDS
FOR ALL WHO ROAM MY PASTURES TO MEDITATE AND READ
IT GETS HARD FOR ME TO BREATH
TRYING TO FULL FILL THIS PATHETIC NEED
I TAKE REFUGE IN THESE WORDS
I HIDE BEHIND MY POETIC TREE
Chapter 4
I’M WORDS AWAY
FROM EXPOSEING THIS POETIC TRUTH
YOU CAN’T TAKE ME AWAY FROM MY POETIC ROOTS
MY GARDEN IS RICH WITH COLORFUL POETIC FRUIT
A CUP OF WORDS
TABLE SPOONS OF SPICES
COME DRINK THIS POETIC JUICE
I MUSE JUST TO CONFUSE
FILLING UP ON POETIC SOUP
WORDS DANGLING FROM
THIS POETIC NOOSE
Chapter 5
IT BREATHS ON ME
FEEDS ON ME
BREEDS IN ME
AND WONT LEAVE FROM ME
SO I SCRIBE AND PLANT POETIC SEEDS
I’M ADDICTED TO WORDS
THIS IS MY PATHETIC NEED
mentalnotes1 