11 years down a lifetime to go 🥳
/ˈsto͞opəd/ Scars ~ Poetry
I got tattoos to cover all my stupid scars
~~~
Daddy took me with him and I danced for quarters when I was 6
~~~
I’ve been to stupid bars
~~~
I took daddy to the hospital cause he was too drunk when I was 9
~~~
I learned to drive stupid cars
~~~
I never understood what normal was that concept was stupid far
~~~
Seen things I shouldn’t my life was super hard
~~~
Teacher called CYS
~~~
Wished up-pon stupid stars
~~~
Now every man I get with tells me I have stupid scars
~~~
Shards fragments and residue
~~~
That little girl has been super scarred
~~~
Not enough ink to cover all these stupid scars
~~~
To note: Stu·pid
/ˈsto͞opəd/
Slang:
Stupid – Fifty levin, plenty, a lot, a large amount, massive amounts, heavy, collection, significant, extensive
Poetry ~ Puberty 1988
So I’m slowly walkin’
Cryin’
Talkin’ to myself in the rain
I tried to off myself
Cut my wrist
Watched blood seep from my veins
I thought of other ways but I’m too young for cocaine
Doctor told me I had a sprain and he bandaged my brain
Slowly getting back to normalcy
Tryna’ stay in my lane
Even though my girlfriends say Brian’s a bum and a fuckin’ lame
I’m 13 years old and my dad tells me things will
Eve-Vent-Chu-Ally change
I give and I give but things seem to stay the same
Listen to your lies
But
You
Do
Nothing
But
Reinjure the sprain
~~~
Mammas tryna’ get me away we took a ride on the train
Till we got to a doctor who tried to diagnose me insaine
I remember when mamma was sick
She had a sprain in her brain
I went with mamma weekly when she took the ride on the train
That led daddy to leave
He tried really hard to explain
~~~
I stayed with the doc for 2 weeks
Until I went back to schoo’
Brian has a new girlfriend now but I don’t give a fuc’ cause I’m coo’
So what I got a new friend now too
I’m off in la-la land
Ativan is my new boo
Reincarnated – Poetry
A trilogy of love thus born
Less injured than before
All of our jagged edged worn
You’ll come to me once more
Whether as star
Constellation of triple light
Streaking ‘cross nights sky
Or rhythmic hum of fireflies
Crossing through silent light
Dark as days and cold as nights
I found you this time unbound
As we met on common ground
You come to me through distilled sound
And wrote our names on sacred ground
We will meet next time around
My love
Wounded ~ Poetry
No one is injured
But I am wounded
Mother braids my hair
As I weep
I know
I know
~~~
She whispers
Love itch – Poetry
There is a place
A place of mourning
A mourning for a private thing
A hidden thing
A loving thing
A pretty thing
An intimate thing
A sacred thing
A private something
A needing
For love
And touch
A touch
A kiss
A sloppy kiss
And attraction
A longing
For
Sexual desire
I Searched for You ~ Poetry
I’ve searched for stones
Limping from broken bones
I laid bare searching for something so rare
~~~
I stood on peaks vista’s and mountains
I lowered myself in valleys
I bathed in historical mystical fountains
~~~
Searching for you
~~~
I walked dangerous terrain
I kept going even while searching with a broken brain
~~~
I roamed from day till dusk
This was not about lust
Much more about trust
I was in the muck and mire
Burning with desire
~~~
I laid bare searching for something so rare
I honored the sabbath and respected your status
I mantra’d the lords prayer
I prayed while scared
I covered my hair
I lowered my eyes conscience of the devils glare
I searched and searched but the gods weren’t playing fair
I paced the valley of the kings searching for rings and pretty things
I made a declaration to a nation through meditation
I ignored sexual sensations
I refrained from masturbation
I nurtured generations
I promoted positive vibrations
I wrote away self-hatred and internal allegations
~~~
While searching for you
~~~
I laid bare searching for something so rare
I was overcome with despair
~~~
I searched for stones
Limping from broken bones
~~~
I was longing for belonging
I was
~~~
Desperately
~~~
Searching
~~~
For you
Deeper than an Ocean – Poetry
My love is
Deeper than an oceans wave
To pave a twisters fall
Tides cave
And lovers wave
From beyond this epic crawl
Paradox hold shoulders
Under an oceans rock
And that’s why my love for you will always be
Deeper than any world
A fantasy can unlock
~~~
Deeper than an Ocean!
~I’ve posted this every year since 2013. I just can’t think of anything more adoring than this poem to post on mothers day 🥰
Deeper Than An Ocean – Poetry
Waiting for You – Poetry
How long can I wait for you
To see the sun turn grey
Nights running into my days
Waiting for you
***
Eyes sealed tight
Holding on to a maybe or might
Sending smoke signals hoping you’re alright
***
I died
Waiting for you
***
To feel my heart beat cold
Pressure building from all the lies that you’ve told
And I wait
While this evil consumes me
Infected By Love- Poetry
I sacrificed myself on the altar and begged God to give me back my soul
I wondered this wilderness I was lost in the fold
I wrote pages and pages till it became a scroll
***
Love had games
Hung me by nooses and invisible chains
I’ve become a walking noise maker from the residue that jingles in my hollow veins
***
Love took its toll
Felt lessons left mud prints in my fractured soul
Half of a heart does not make a whole
***
Sadness compromised me times 3
Left miles and miles still cleaning up debris
August was a long month felt like years
Found myself floating on a life raft
Damn near drowned in my own tears
***
Till life felt like a plague
So I saged
And I saged
I burned incense
It lingered
But the hurt still stayed
I was compromised and delayed
Rigamortis set in and even the neighbors could smell the decay
***
I sacrificed myself on the altar and begged God to give me back my soul
I wondered this wilderness I was lost in the fold
I wrote pages and pages till it became a scroll
I fasted I starved myself and I paced the floor some more
I talked to myself and searched for riddles beyond hidden doors
I spoke to the gods and whispered to the moon
I cried rivers and laid prostrate singing holy across empty tombs
I bled myself trying to rid myself of this atrocity
I showed my self approved spewing with generosity
I walked on hot coals I detoxed myself I stopped eating meat
The congregation stood in line while I washed every members feet
I even cut my locs out
But I was still left
Hung
Heavy
Burdened
I was without
I did all this trying to replenish my broken soul
I will one day find a way out of this deep dark lonely hole
I’ve been infected
By
Love
mentalnotes1 