Today I hurt
I released an agreement
This to shall pass, right?
I’m lost, and I’m trying to find my way back.
Where am I?
Who are you?
I’m schizo and you look schizo too.
How do I get out of this fucking box?
I’m walking but I can’t feel my feet.
I’m being pushed by a fiery heat.
OUCH!!!
That hurts.
STOP!!!
Where the fuck am I?
It’s dark.
I can’t see.
WILL SOMEONE TURN ON THE FUCKING LIGHTS!!!
Wait! Wait!
This can’t be right.
Something’s wrong.
Where are the damn lights?
It’s dark.
Shit, I’m scared.
This is weird.
Damn, it’s HOT.
WILL SOMEONE TURN THE DAMN HEAT OFF!!!
PLEASE, PLEASE….
Ok, ok let me calm down and figure out how the hell I got here so I can get the hell out.
Ok, think.
The last thing I remember.
What was the last thing I remember?
Oh, I was with that guy and he was so, so fine.
Shit, I’m drawing a blank.
My eyes are getting heavy.
I. Just. Want. To.Go. To. Sleep.
BITCH WAKE UP!!!
BITCH WAKE UP!!!
WHERE WAS I?
Oh, oh ok I remember.
The bathroom.
I was in the bathroom.
That man was with me.
I can’t keep my eyes open.
OPEN YOU’RE FUCKIN EYES.
Come on open, open…
It feels like I’m watching a movie.
This shit is crazy.
I have got to pull myself together.
It’s the PROZAC.
Yeah.
The fucking PROZAC…
FUCKIN WITH MY HEAD!
I need to get off these drugs.
HEY!!!
HEY YOU OVER THERE!!!
Where the fuck are we?
Hey, where you going?
You can’t just leave me here.
Shit I. AM. FADING.
It feels so good.
Oh please let me fade.
It feels too good to come back now.
GRAB MY HAND!!!
COME ON GRAB MY HAND!!!
I have got to leave those fucking drugs alone.
Mental note…
Need a bigger bathroom.
Thank you, Insanity.
PROZAC
I’m lost, and I’m trying to find my way back.
Where am I?
Who are you?
I’m schizo and you look schizo too.
How do I get out of this fucking box?
I’m walking but I can’t feel my feet.
I’m being pushed by a fiery heat.
OUCH!!!
That hurts.
STOP!!!
Where the fuck am I?
It’s dark.
I can’t see.
WILL SOMEONE TURN ON THE FUCKING LIGHTS!!!
Wait! Wait!
This can’t be right.
Something’s wrong.
Where are the damn lights?
It’s dark.
Shit, I’m scared.
This is weird.
Damn, it’s HOT.
WILL SOMEONE TURN THE DAMN HEAT OFF!!!
PLEASE, PLEASE….
Ok, ok let me calm down and figure out how the hell I got here so I can get the hell out.
Ok, think.
The last thing I remember.
What was the last thing I remember?
Oh, I was with that guy and he was so, so fine.
Shit, I’m drawing a blank.
My eyes are getting heavy.
I. Just. Want. To.Go. To. Sleep.
BITCH WAKE UP!!!
BITCH WAKE UP!!!
WHERE WAS I?
Oh, oh ok I remember.
The bathroom.
I was in the bathroom.
That man was with me.
I can’t keep my eyes open.
OPEN YOU’RE FUCKIN EYES.
Come on open, open…
It feels like I’m watching a movie.
This shit is crazy.
I have got to pull myself together.
It’s the PROZAC.
Yeah.
The fucking PROZAC…
FUCKIN WITH MY HEAD!
I need to get off these drugs.
HEY!!!
HEY YOU OVER THERE!!!
Where the fuck are we?
Hey, where you going?
You can’t just leave me here.
Shit I. AM. FADING.
It feels so good.
Oh please let me fade.
It feels too good to come back now.
GRAB MY HAND!!!
COME ON GRAB MY HAND!!!
I have got to leave those fucking drugs alone.
Mental note…
Need a bigger bathroom.
Thank you, Insanity.
BIG BAD WOLF ( 30 DAYS OF HAIKUS #7)
OFF TO GRANDMOMMAS
THE SCENIC ROUTE IS TEMPTING
NO FEEDING THE BEARS
Rebirth (30 days of Haikus #5)
Metamorphosis
I now have butterfly wings (:
I am born again
I HAD TWO FISH (POETRY)
I had 2 fish
I had 2 fish, but one died last night.
I had 2 fish but one died last night!
I had 2 fish but one died last night now I only have one.
IT IS BETTER THAN TO HAVE LOVED THAN NOT TO HAVE LOVED AT ALL 😦
ISOLATED BY PERFECTION (POETRY)
ISOLATED IN A PLACE I NEVER WANTED TO BE
WHILE PEDESTRIANS WALK BY AND LAUGH AT ME
PLAYED THE FOOL, DISRESPECTED THE RULES
CHASTISED BY THE LIES
AND THE ABRUPT GOODBYES
PERFECTION STARES AT ME
TAUNTS ME
PROSECUTES ME
AND SEE’S ME
IN MY ISOLATION
BEND BUT NEVER BREAK! (HAIKU)
THE ROOT MUST BE STRONG
WHEN THE WIND COMES I WILL BEND
NEVER WILL I BREAK
I AM ONLY AS STRONG AS MY ROOT
Mountain
Get
Out
Of
My
Way
My praise feels things
No man can ever see
I worship with him
Just God and me
You can’t see that mountain I moved
I moved it through grooves
Tombs
And empty rooms
Yup just me and God (:
And you weren’t there
When the signs said beware
And I entered anyway
God moved demons out of my way
Preparing me for another day
And the sun always shinned on my weary soul
While I picked away at this human hole
See you weren’t there
When he gently held me
And rocked me into submission
Cause I was fixin’ to die
And the years flew by
And tears flowed from my troubled eyes
And I lost a part of me every time I tried
But I moved that mountain!
But you were not their
It took a lot of trust
But in my heart I knew
That if I gave it to you
Only then could I be made new
See they were not there
When I walked in the valley of the shadows of death
Tempting all evil
See, I believed them when they said
I’ll never leave you
But they weren’t there
See my worship is real
The devil is mad that I sealed the deal
And I am sold out (: !!
See you weren’t there
When I begged god to take it
Cause I couldn’t shake it
And I was sure that if I lived to see another day
That I wouldn’t make it
See you were not there
I moved that mountain
But you weren’t their
When my life was plagued by fear
And I pushed every one away who tried to care
See you weren’t there
See I had a leak in my soul
And I needed to show this mountain
That
It
Did
Not
Move
Me
See I moved that mountain
But you were not their
SISTERS (POETRY)
I pray before I start
Because these words are coming from the deepest part of my heart
I prayed for her like she prayed for me
That the light one day she’d be willing to see
Over the years she told me some of her deepest fears
And I know it”s ok to cry because these are happy tears
I’ve been on the sidelines rooting for her every day
I knew somehow God would help her to find her way
I know she had to fight the whole way through
I know because I’ve been there
I had to fight too
I’ve been some of the same places she’s been
And it hurt at times that I was unable to be her friend
There was some hurt that I was still trying to mend
My love for my sister is deep and true
But I’m still hurt and I’m still healing too
It really hurt to see addiction drag my sister into that hole
It doesn’t discriminate it takes family friends and Foes
We should have listened when mamma told us to just say no
But my response was always the same…
Mamma I know
Anyway the hurt is still the same
She must have thought I was joking when I told her this was no game
She saw me struggle
Drugs riddled me to the core
And I am so grateful that God has the power to restore
I remember when she cried
She told me she was tired
She could no longer fight
I looked her in the eyes and said
I need you
And I need you on this night
I pleaded for her to stay just a little while more
But just as fast as she came she was back out the door
She looked towards the ground
Looked at me and said
I will be back when I get
ONE MORE
Her eyes were filled with pain
She didn’t want to be loved
She only wanted more cocaine
I pleaded with her to let me help her
She was my baby sister
I pulled her close and hugged and kissed her
And even in my own addiction
I really, really missed her
What I know is she is walking that same dark path
The disease will get you
And it will get you fast
My baby sister is all alone out there on the streets
I want for her so badly to be free
She is my baby sister and that’s all I am able to see
I’m often reminded that the same God taking care of her
Is the same God that took such good care of me
My sister died of an overdose
God has set her free
And He’s still taking care of her
And watching over me
mentalnotes1 