VERBIAGE (POETRY)

FACINATED BY THIS WORDAGE

I DONT WANT TO BE FREE

KEEP ME CHAINED TO THIS VERBIAGE

THAT WREAKS HAVOC IN ME

SYMPHONY OF WORDS (EXCERPT)

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/audio-SYMPHONY OF WORDS-on-tuesday-1

AN ORGIE OF WORDS COMES ALIVE DOWN MY SPIN

AND DOES BEAUTIFUL BALLETS THAT DEFIES EVEN TIME

HUNGRY FOR MORE CONOTATIONS

THAT LAY STATIONED UNDERNEITH THE (SLURRS)

WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME TO INVITE THIS AUDIENCE

TO MINGLE WITH THESE PROPHETIC VERBS

DARK PLACES “VS” SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL ( RANDOM THOUGHTS)

Well bloggers, as some of you know I have some how shifted my writing from my past life of addiction to something very dark. My book Mental Notes http://www.amazon.com/Mental-Notes-ebook/dp/B005VX0WL8/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1353151329&sr=1-1&keywords=MENTAL+NOTES+BY+LATOYA+HARRIS was published last year and was my liberation. My mission was to expose this dirty disease called addiction and I think I did a great job at that. Then I got my heart broken while learning who I really am. What I mean is God was working on me and I interrupted His process and It brought up all sorts of issues from childhood. Things I thought I had buried a long time ago, rejection, abandonment, abuse, fear, fear of what, I don’t know. I got my heart broken this year and thus came this little girl I never realized I utilized so much https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/category/avatar-part-1/ I wrote her into my life and even named her My Avatar.

My first dark poem was “You will stay with me till the very end” https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2012/07/24/you-will-stay-with-me-until-the-very-end/ This was the beginning of my heart break and this poem SCARED THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME! I asked myself, self,  WTF IS THIS CRAZY SHIT YOU JUST WROTE, LOL talking to myself as I sometimes do (: So, I have been stuck on the dark side every since and I am desperate to find my way back to Something Beautiful.

This years life lesson has been life changing. I am  still not certain how grateful I am for them  because it was and still is very painful, but boy, oh boy did I get it this time, the lesson. This is my second time having to repeat this lesson, but I finally got it, life is that way.

So bloggers my mission is to write Something Beautiful and I will!

This is a challenge to self, Something Beautiful 

Happy New Year, I wish you all the best of everything and I mean that!

THE BEST OF EVERYTHING, AND SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL ❤

I FELT YOU BREATHING LAST NIGHT (POETRY)

I FELT YOU BREATHING LAST NIGHT

AND YOU WERE A THOUSAND MILES AWAY

YOU WERE NOT IN MY BED

OR IN THE NEXT ROOM

YOU WEREN’T AROUND THE CORNER

OR ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN

YOU WERE A THOUSAND MILES AWAY

BUT YET

AND STILL

I FELT YOU BREATHING LAST NIGHT

Insomnia – Poetry W/Audio

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/INSOMNIA -poetry

Finger tips and microchips dissect my random thoughts

While movies play obsessively of all that daddy taught

I’m here once a week tryn’a get the bugs out my head

But the only thing this quack does is prescribe another fuckin’ med

Bugaboos and daja vu’s taunt my twisted brain

Perplexing me and vexing me

Rip me out these fuckin’ chains

I shift my body loosely tryn’a pull back on the reins

But these voices keep on whispering

VOICES: You’re weird stupid and insane

Fully engulfed in this cryptic game

I can’t escape these awful memories

So  I try and write away the pain 

I lay there blamelessly

As he dissects my twisted mind

ME: Yea I know

As he looks ahead and says

DOCTOR: Were out of fuckin’ time

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

ME: Yea I know

DOCTOR: Were out of fuckin’ time

DANCE WITH ME (POETRY W/AUDIO)

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/dance-with-me-poetry

Dance with me in the wind

So I can never think of him

EVER AGAIN

Pardon me of my sins

So I can never hurt myself again

Heal my heart

So I can love again

FEATURE POET (NTOZAKE SHANGE, “SORRY”)

one thing i don’t need is any more apologies

i got sorry greetin me at my front door

you can keep yrs i don’t know what to do wit em

they dont open doors or bring the sun back

they dont make me happy or get a mornin paper

didnt nobody stop usin my tears to wash cars

cuz a sorry
i am simply tired of collectin

i didnt know  i was so important toyou

i’m gonna haveta throw some away

i cant get to the clothes in my closet for alla the sorries

i’m gonna tack a sign to my door leave a message by the phone

‘if you called to say yr sorry

call somebody else

i dont use em anymore’

i let sorry/

didnt meanta/

& how cd i know abt that

take a walk down a dark & musty street in brooklyn

i’m gonna do exactly what i want to

& i wont be sorry for none of it

letta sorry soothe yr soul/

i’m gonna soothe mine
you were always inconsistent doin somethin & then bein sorry

beatin my heart to death talkin bout you sorry

well i will not call

i’m not goin to be nice

i will raise my voice

& scream

& holler

& break things

& race the engine

& tell all yr secrets bout yrself to yr face

& i will list in detail everyone of my wonderful lovers

& their ways

i will play oliver lake loud

& i wont be sorry for none of it
i loved you on purpose

i was open on purpose

i still crave vulnerability

& close talk

& i’m not even sorry bout you bein sorry

you can carry all the guilt & grime ya wanna just dont give it to me

i cant use another sorry

next time you should admit you’re mean/ low-down/ triflin/

& no count straight out

steada bein sorry alla the time enjoy bein yrself

SNAPPED!!!! (POETRY/ TITLE CHANGE)

I WATCHED MY CLOCK TICK

12AM

I LAID IN MY BED

MY MIND PLAYING WICKED GAMES WITH ME

12:01

:02

:03

:04

AND ON

AND ON

AND ON

12:16

UNTIL I SNAPPED

AND WALKED AWAY

FREE

 

GOODBYE HEROINE 2 (Poetry W/AUDIO)

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/goodbye-heroin

Goodbye Heroin II

I can’t stop loving him no matter how hard I try.

I will probably hate him until the day I die.

I often ask myself the question why?

He has never been good to me always treated me bad.

Left me ugly alone and feeling sad.

By the way, he’s such a tease.

Cant’ fall asleep without awakening with a cough or constant sneeze.

There’s those days when he’s missing and I need a shoulder to cry.

He was always there but our relationship was one big lie.

I left him once but I felt like I would just die.

I crawled back on my knees.

And he accepted me back without hesitation, he was pleased.

When I left him, I refused him because he killed a friend.

Now I understand why she loved him until the end.

When she was hurting he was the only one to whom she thought she could depend.

I used him and immediately the pain went away.

I remember we began to hang out every day.

I missed him so much because he was always there.

Almost like a game but he wasn’t playing fair.

It took too long to realize he never cared.

I feel like such a traitor, I told her I’d say no.

I saw him one day and we both went toe to toe.

I wasn’t really feeling that good about me.

He whispered try me you’ll feel better I promise you’ll see.

I read one day about the way he met her.

She expressed how good he felt one day in a love letter.

I was scared and for days and days I hid.

But he knew everything even where I lived.

So I fell in love and gave him all I had to give.

It was like I was in a movie no way for a girl to live.

At first I was jealous of their relationship, because I didn’t know.

That eventually all these horrific events would occur.

You the devil…

Yeah, you in disguise.

I bet you never thought we’d break these ties.

How stupid could I be?

I thought he was my friend.

This is my life I’m taking back.

I’ll never let you win.

Devil, you don’t know the strength behind this pen.

That’s why I wrote this poem for everyone to know.

I’m exposing you heroin so take your tricks and go.

MISTRESS

I met him; I fell in love with him

I knew he wasn’t mines

But he grew on me

Like a 19^th century bottle of

Old money kind’a wine

She knew about us for years

And for years she took a back seat

Because she knew without me

His heart was strangely weak

He was a police officer

And in the line of duty, he was shot

I screamed!

Please tell me he is not dead!

Please tell me he is not!!

He laid in the hospital

In that dreadful coma for 20 long weeks

It was not her body he longed for

Between those hospital sheets

It was hard for her to deny

Because she knew if she did not find me

Her husband would surely die

This woman knew he was in love with me

And only wanted her husband to survive

So willing to do anything

To keep her husband alive

She grabbed his phone

Braced herself

And stood up on her feet

She sought me out knowing

His heart was strangely weak

I laid with him

And she approved of me

In that hospital bed

She silently requested help

And pushed me towards his bed

A few days later he awoke

I jumped up from between the sheets 

And it killed her

As she looked on

Knowing

I was the reason

His heart still beat

Its been three years now

And she is still his wife 

And  everyday

I regret the day

I saved that bastard’s life!