TREASURES LURKING IN MY TRASH (POETRY)

There was a lesson lurking in my trash

And I had to slow my thoughts down

Because they were moving too fast

I don’t know how long this isolation will last

But what I do know is

There’s an infinite treasure lurking in my trash

SHE STAYS (POETRY)

He dominated her by four feet

Grabbed her by her hair

And drug her through the streets

She tried the best she could to bring herself to her feet

And she knew

This  

Was

Not

How she wanted to meet her maker

Only God can take her

This man has shaped her

And I can’t awake her

From her reality

His brutality

And still

She stays

I WELCOME ALL SPELLCHECKERS (GIGGLES)

MY AVATAR ( POETRY W/ AUDIO PART 1)

http://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/my-avatar-part-2-poetry#play

My avatar loves to come out and play

While keeping all the bad people away

Sugar and spice was a fantasy that had been reversed

By an evil curse that keeps sick lyrics playing in my brain

Shame

Shame is I can’t hide from my hazel eyes

That keep seeing me down this wicked path

Where gargoyles were supposed to make me feel safe

And hide me from my tortured fate

And only they know where I’ve been

As my OCD forces me to repeat things

Over

And over

And over again

My avatar plays double dutch, patty cake, hide and seek

And plays these tapes over and over in my mind sometimes for weeks

Non-stop

That’s when my watched stopped

And froze me right there

For pedestrians to stop and stare at me in my obliviance

Ollie-ollie in come free

Is what they scream at me

deeming

Me

Broken

While I’m smoking up on yesterday

And my avatar

She comforts me in my

Disobedience

She comforts me

In my deviants

HE LIED (POETRY)

 

Adrenaline whizzed through my veins

And I tried hard to maintain

Some sort of dignity

I had the opportunity to bow out gracefully

But I stayed

My reactions were delayed

And every personality that lived in me

Felt betrayed

Because he lied

 

Every minute felt like an eternity

I felt the burn in me

Ready to ignite

Every nerve in me was ready for this fight

And I knew I had no business going there

I sped to his house

At a 100 mile per hour zoom

I tore up everything

I went room to room

 

This was distasteful

I was mean and I was hateful

And it sickened me

This infliction in me

That consumed every entrance in me

 

But I was already possessed

So I prayed for relief

Because this feeling was way too deep

 

I was not a rah-rah girl

Just a woman who had been lied to

GOODNESS AND MERCY (POETRY)

Psalms 23:6

I feel there is something

Or someone who or that

Is always there

Watching over and protecting me

They were surely the perfect pair

They weren’t conflicting or argumentive

They were loving

And if you ask me

Much too fair

And even when I was angry

Their love was always there

It’s some Jesus stuff they sprinkle

When things are dark like night

And they will never leave or forsake me

No matter how tough the fight

There is one thing I am sure of

Although my choices aren’t always right

Goodness and Mercy shall follow me

All the days of my life

Mourning – Poetry

I listened to his heart beat

I wrapped my legs between his feet

I watched him sleep and tucked him safely away in the warmth of my sheets

I played with his ears 

Somehow that soothed my fears

About 

Mourning

I scaled his face with my point finger

And I cried

Because

Mourning

Was well on its way

NOT MY MAN! (POETRY)

 

 

I want to get him and get him good

I am seeing red

As I watch them both laying in our bed

Him giving my man what looked like some “meeeeaaan” head

The chic from kill bill won’t have shit on me

I will start with his lover, make him watch, make him see

I’m ready to spend the rest of my life in jail

I might as well go all the way

They both can go straight underneith of hell

This can’t be my reality

Homosexuality

A preference, a personal reference

But oh God

Not my man!

 

 

 

 

Tombstones in my Mattress – Poetry W/Audio

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/TOMBSTONE IN MY MATTRESS-on-monday-1

I’ve got Tombstones in my Mattress  

Waiting for the next certain death

To join this grave site of men and women I have not yet met

I deem it over before it begins

And I mourn these relationships

Over

And over again

I got Tombstones in my Mattress

And I practice pretending they aren’t there

Potholes and traps for all who enter these tomb filled snares

I got ash cans and grey post

That line the belly of this seam

I got construction going on

In the trinkets of my dreams

In the pit of my Mattress

I call it the dead zone

There building a fortress

And fences

Calling it their home

And they aint even paying rent

I evicted two tenants

And  could care less where they went

I’ve got Tombstones in my Mattress

And I’m prepared to burn this dwelling place

Can’t sleep at night

Without these men staring me in my face

These tombstones have been constructed for over twenty long years

And there comfortable in my bed

Playing spade and swallowing down imported beers

I’m not sad

Depressed

Or angry

I just want these men gone

They’ve been sleeping in my bed with me for twenty years too long

I got diamonds hidden in these dirt filled tombs

Being smothered by dandelions and oversized poisoned mushrooms

My bed has become crowded

And the only person I’m angry at is me

Because I have allowed these men to literally enslave me

I’ve got souls that I desperately need to set free

I keep these memories alive and I hate the reflection I see

I got construction workers knocking walls down building rooms to be filled

While I’m shoveling dirt working hard to empty this dirt filled mill

Gatekeepers come from nowhere, hired in this dark ground of doom

I’ve invited men in to fill these empty tombs

I cannot stand being cramped up in my own bed

I demised a portal

For people who have long time been dead

They have decomposed

Honestly some of them I don’t even know

It’s God awful that their locked in this trench

I’m not sure how much longer I can tolerate this awful stench

Every tombstone has a different face

And a different name

But they’re not much different at all

Really their all the same

I got all these people living in my bed

And it’s deep

It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten a good night’s sleep

I am on the brink of something really big

Tonight, these men are getting the hell up out my bed

I want to be rid of this affliction

So tonight, I’m sure I’ll be handing out some evictions

SAD (POETRY)

It was them dear eyes

That cried lullabies

And gave tears another definition

A new rendition

Called sad

MASK (POETRY)

I carried the weight in my beautifully poised face

And happiness arrived a few days to late

Hard for me to harbor this hate

And still hold on

To

This beautifully poised face