Happy Mother’s Day ❤

mentalnotes1

My love is

Deeper than an oceans wave

To pave a twisters fall

Tides cave

And lovers wave

From beyond this epic crawl

Paradox hold shoulders

Under an oceans rock

And that’s why my love for you will always be

Deeper than any world

A fantasy can unlock

Deeper than an ocean

Happy Mothers Day ❤

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Widowed


My ring finger holds a secret

A lingering

To be remembered

Opposite side

It sits heavy

Where two worlds collide

My right hand is covered

But my ring finger died

There is no growing season

Twilight moons have become full blown

The growl in my aches have turned full grown

I am childlike from these moans

My pen and paper have turned stones

From the weight of this wind

And death has become my companion

Widowed

The Language of Love

I lay and I think

Love can happen in one simple wink

And has many times before

Love is something we’ve all explored

Chances we take

That either makes or break our opinion of love

Fields of emotions

Like a rose that we chose

A risk we take, it’s a big deal because it’s our hearts that’s at stake

Love is like a fire, an arsenal of desire, a whirlpool of devotion, and weird subliminal notions

Bottled up it’s the heart’s magical potion

Love can be good; love can be bad, love can be happy, love can be sad

It’s all up to you

Just as cool as the wind or as painful as a pin poking at your gut

We’re so easily caught up in love’s clutch

Or as beautiful as the symphony or diamonds from Tiffany’s

Love can be sweet as candy or… fine and dandy

Or as spectacular as fire works with quarks and perks

Depends on me and how far my love is willing to see

My love sees rainbows and daffodils like a roller coaster with thrills and exciting twists

Or that first passionate kiss

Have you ever listened and heard like a baby’s first word

It rained yesterday and guess what I saw?

I saw tear drops constantly fall

I love the sound of rain

Love should not mean pain

I used to think love could meet me on the moon and never would be too soon

We should nurture love and give it every chance we can

I choose to vent love through my pen and hope this time love will win

Love has been a symphony of dreams and I’ve always been on the losing team

Love can be a fire hard to tame

Or fall in love and not even know their name

Love has no faces and doesn’t discriminate between races

Love can be paint on a canvas

Splashes of love

Overwhelming hugs

That runs through my veins like drugs

Love is lily’s and quiet little walks in South Philly or silly little looks

That’s the language of love

When I think of love I think of hearts being colored in red or children being told stories before they go to bed

When I think of love I think of pastures filled with butterflies or teachers teaching children how to make tie-dye

When I think of love I think of how excited my grandma was when she brought my first bra

When I think of love I think of leaves changing colors in the fall and couples holding hands while shopping in the mall

When I think of love I think of angels being sent down to lend a hand or birds playing footsies in the sand

Love will be here when we’re dead and gone love has been here all along

Love is something money can’t buy

Love has many questions…

But no answers

So don’t ask love… why ?

Use the universe as your source

Allowing love to take its course

Caged

A broken wing

To hang a thing

To think a thing

Then become that thing

Only I can see

And the many people who live in me

Somethings fucking wrong with me

An open rip

My brain is nipped

Aliens have me microchipped

Where the blackness hung

Hung me there

Hung me in the wood somewhere

And nowhere

I will my mind to not betray me

From beyond the thoughts

Sounding things

Exposing me

White noise urging me

Eyes were watching me

My heart was chasing me

My breath was racing me

Exhaust

Did

Live in me

To end this pain

Nervous bleeding in my brain

Dragged me back to somewhere and nowhere

At once

Everywhere

This!

Insanity

Living with

Social Anxiety

Endless tears

Endless tears fall on seasons

A valley long to describe a kiss

Of blinded bliss

To wish a where

To bend a tare

The deepest parts of my pubic hairs

That left a tear

Falling

The Hunter

He hunted me over deserts and tumble weeds
It moved like a bounty hunter and had leads on me
When I last saw him in Dakota in 1846 he bloodied my nose.
I got away on his horse

Fell to the way side
Posters over dry land.
He searched for me
I moved like a vagabond, running from the ripper
I was a ghost
I thought I had escaped the hunters grip
It scoured taverns, speakeasies and bath houses looking for me
I was clumbsy
Running from the hunter
I was set up
Ambushed by love
Betrayed
It caught me off guard
It hip checked me
We tussled
Dragged me by my hair
Like a fuckin’ cave man
To the tavern
While the towns people watched in horror
Some laughed and held the wanted posters up
Pointing fingers
Again
It bloodied my nose
I chuckled
Then stumbled back
I spit
Spit my death in his face
And I laughed
Wickedly
And it shot me!
And I bled
And I bled out

He took a shot of that dirty whisky
Hand on gun

Tilted his hat

Looked around
And said…
Pay me


The hunter

Grief

Grief | Inklings and Wonderings

Chimes

Like life

Ringing through ripples and worlds

Tears made brick

The thought that thinks

I have memories sleeping in the cracks of my walls

And faces urging me to acknowledge them

From beyond these grief filled halls

Swells enter corners of my pillow

So I listen…

For the universe

To tell me

I am not alone

Motivated by: (https://dversepoets.com). 

Image result for abortion artwork

http://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/remembering#share

As I sat on the edge of my bed praying for redemption

I felt the knot in my gut spring up in my soul

My body went cold and the memories took control

And I asked God for forgiveness because only he knew what I did

And the people who did it…

I got rid of that thing because I knew it was his

And I hated him

The thing was a monster

I wanted it gone

I wanted it dead

But still so much a part of me

I did not want the world to see

What this man planted in me

I laid still frozen on my back

While I heard the chants from the windows

From murmurs priest and Catholic’s

Screaming

MURDERER!

As one single tear drop fell from my eye

And collided pass my ear and slid down my neck

And froze itself right there

Tickling my neck

But this was not funny

And I dare not even crack a smile

I laid frozen on my back as the chants got louder

I refuse to cry because that would have been an admission of

Of…

Of…

Of something I dare not admit with this tongue

The thing was a monster

I wanted it gone

I wanted it dead

But still so much a part of me

This thing that lived inside of me

Was haunting me

And I heard him whisper

You are beautiful, as he brushed my hair to the side

Every night at 3 o clock in the morning

And I was mourning for my innocents

That I lost a long time ago

Now I live with this thing

This thing

This monstrous thing!

I just knew I’d be free…

As I laid there flat on my back

Spread eagle

Waiting for this thing to exit my womb

I wanted to bury it,,,

Tie a chain to it

And throw it in the sea

OF THE FORGOTTEN

AND THE FORGIVEN

So it can never again resurface

I was praying to have not

One

Single

Memory

Of this event

But here

I lay

20 Years Later

Still

Flat on my back

REMEMBERING…

Related image

He made me feel like I was in dream

With a lot of gentle

Mixed with a just enough mean

He touched me softly

And my nibbles arose

He even asked me if he could suck my toes

He was nothing like the last man  I choose

He sucked on my nibbles

Like cherries to the seed

I was hungry for this ocean in me to be freed

I rolled over, trying to shift my weight

I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming

It felt like I was in some kind of dream state

He kissed my neck

And he made me moan

He looked in my eyes

Challenging my sensual tone

I tried to get up but he pinned me down

And all I heard was nasty, wet slurping sounds

He had me wet and paralyzed to the bed

His face disappeared and all I saw was his head

Finally he came up for air and kissed me on my face

I pulled him closer because I wanted to taste

And I licked his face leaving non of me to waste

I laid back screaming

Because his tongue felt so good

I really wanted to cum

I really felt like I could

He said

You better not cum

But every emotion in me won

When he went back down

And I began to scream

And I was pissed off when the flight attendant woke me

Realizing

It was only

Just

A dream

 

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