PROZAC

I’m lost, and I’m trying to find my way back.

Where am I?

Who are you?

I’m schizo and you look schizo too.

How do I get out of this fucking box?

I’m walking but I can’t feel my feet.

I’m being pushed by a fiery heat.

OUCH!!!

That hurts.

STOP!!!

Where the fuck am I?

It’s dark.

I can’t see.

WILL SOMEONE TURN ON THE FUCKING LIGHTS!!!

Wait! Wait!

This can’t be right.

Something’s wrong.

Where are the damn lights?

It’s dark.

Shit, I’m scared.

This is weird.

Damn, it’s HOT.

WILL SOMEONE TURN THE DAMN HEAT OFF!!!

PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME GET OUT OF HERE!

Ok, ok let me calm down and figure out how the hell I got here so I can get the hell out.

Ok, think.

The last thing I remember.

What was the last thing I remember?

Oh, I was with that guy and he was so, so fine.

Shit, I’m drawing a blank.

My eyes are getting heavy.

I. Just. Want. To.Go. To. Sleep.

BITCH WAKE UP!!!

BITCH WAKE UP!!!

WHERE WAS I?

Oh, oh ok I remember.

The bathroom.

I was in the bathroom.

That man was with me.

I can’t keep my eyes open.

OPEN YOU’RE FUCKIN EYES.

Come on open, open…

It feels like I’m watching a movie.

This shit is crazy.

I have got to pull myself together.

It’s the PROZAC.

Yeah.

The fucking PROZAC…

FUCKIN WITH MY HEAD!

I need to get off these drugs.

HEY!!!

HEY YOU OVER THERE!!!

Where the fuck are we?

Hey, where you going?

You can’t just leave me here.

Shit I. AM. FADING.

It feels so good.

Oh please let me fade.

It feels too good to come back now.

GRAB MY HAND!!!

COME ON GRAB MY HAND!!!

I have got to leave those fucking drugs alone.

Mental note…

Need a bigger bathroom.

HELP ME

I’m lost, and I’m trying to find my way back.

Where am I?

Who are you?

I’m schizo and you look schizo too.

How do I get out of this fucking box?

I’m walking but I can’t feel my feet.

I’m being pushed by a fiery heat.

OUCH!!!

That hurts.

STOP!!!

Where the fuck am I?

It’s dark.

I can’t see.

WILL SOMEONE TURN ON THE FUCKING LIGHTS!!!

Wait! Wait!

This can’t be right.

Something’s wrong.

Where are the damn lights?

It’s dark.

Shit, I’m scared.

This is weird.

Damn, it’s HOT.

WILL SOMEONE TURN THE DAMN HEAT OFF!!!

PLEASE, PLEASE….

Ok, ok let me calm down and figure out how the hell I got here so I can get the hell out.

Ok, think.

The last thing I remember.

What was the last thing I remember?

Oh, I was with that guy and he was so, so fine.

Shit, I’m drawing a blank.

My eyes are getting heavy.

I. Just. Want. To.Go. To. Sleep.

BITCH WAKE UP!!!

BITCH WAKE UP!!!

WHERE WAS I?

Oh, oh ok I remember.

The bathroom.

I was in the bathroom.

That man was with me.

I can’t keep my eyes open.

OPEN YOU’RE FUCKIN EYES.

Come on open, open…

It feels like I’m watching a movie.

This shit is crazy.

I have got to pull myself together.

It’s the PROZAC.

Yeah.

The fucking PROZAC…

FUCKIN WITH MY HEAD!

I need to get off these drugs.

HEY!!!

HEY YOU OVER THERE!!!

Where the fuck are we?

Hey, where you going?

You can’t just leave me here.

Shit I. AM. FADING.

It feels so good.

Oh please let me fade.

It feels too good to come back now.

GRAB MY HAND!!!

COME ON GRAB MY HAND!!!

I have got to leave those fucking drugs alone.

Mental note…

Need a bigger bathroom.

Hollow

Love is too expensive

Every interaction has become suspect and defensive

I borrowed, stole and emptied my center and I paid

Now every beat in my heart has become hollowed and delayed

And it captured me

Tethered

Tethered to trust a glimpse

Amongst the darkened sky

Feathers but a day

Fury from abide

Forgetting that you are

But just a simple tide

We board the picture frame

And watch as lives collide

Intruder – Poetry

Heart and brain frequencies talk secretly and majestically

Most are not aligned

You don’t have to say much but tell me your side

For I experienced it with you

As if a breeze couldn’t pass between us

A gift

Who can run from

I wanna hear you laugh and cry

It’s up to you to let me inside

Without already innocently intruding

!INSOMNIA!

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/INSOMNIA -poetry

Finger tips and microchips dissect my random thoughts

While movies play obsessively of all that daddy taught

I’m here once a week tryn’a get the bugs out my head

But the only thing this quack does is prescribe another fuckin’ med

Bugaboos and daja vu’s taunt my twisted brain

Perplexing me and vexing me

Take me out these fuckin chains

I shift my body loosely tryn’a pull back on the reins

But these voices keep whispering to me

Saying

VOICES: You know you’re fuckin’ insane

Clouds of shame

Socially stained

Fully engulfed in this cryptic game

I can’t escape these awful memories

So  I try and write away the pain 

I lay there blamelessly

As he dissects my twisted mind

ME: Yea I know

As he looks ahead and says

DOCTOR: Were out of fucking time

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

ME: Yea I know

DOCTOR: Were out of fucking time

Invictus By William Ernest Henley (Featured Poet)

I am the captain of my soul ❤

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/invictus-by-william-ernest?si=b326e984a4d34d79ba2656b4f795bf37&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

mentalnotes1

Out of the night that covers me, 
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning’s of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

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FREE ME (POETRY W/ AUDIO)

Creative freedom ❤

mentalnotes1

FREE ME!!!

http://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/free-me 

TAINTED BY THE BEAUTY OF THE AMARICAN FLAG 

A WARPED VISION

ITS DISGUISE

A RED, WHITE AND BLUE RAG

DEEP IN THE BYOU’S WERE…

THE BABIES MY GRANDMOMMA HAD

WHILE GRANDPOPPA LOOKED ON ANGRY, POWERLESS AND MAD

LAND OF THE FREE

YOU CANT FOOL ME

THIS RAG IS TAINTED WITH HYPOCRISY

RIVERS STILL TORTURED, DAMS STILL RED

AND SHE USE THAT SAME COLOR TO REPRESENT OUR FUTURE THAT’S STILL DEAD

CENTURIES

OLD HAG!!!!

I AINT GOT NO LOVE FOR THIS CLOTHE

SO F*** THE AMERICAN FLAG!

Please don’t come for me in the comments, it’s called creative freedom ❤

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Breathe (Poetry W/Audio)

I died
Until the fever broke
Weakened the noise
The air still sobbing
Until breathing became difficult
My fish died but I’m still alive
Surely the moon knows my name

Lineage (Poetry W/Audio)

mentalnotes1

I can’t find my shoestring to my left boot because I unlaced it to shoot up
High on this fentanyl shit
Can’t take it
Enough is enough
My veins are confused
These streets are too ruff
I keep hitting that same vein crying
Dying
Trying hard not to give up
Sick ’cause my friend overdosed
Tryna’ find what she had
Drooling
Hard
Saliva
Getting high with my dad
Can’t stomach this life but which way do I go
I’m already six feet under
Chasing this dragon far reaching
Plateau
I know these streets are cursed
I’m well versed
I’ve planned out my funeral I have it rehearsed
I’ve been living in this nightmare
A sick fantasy
Reversed
Get well or die trying
Can’t stand feeling this hurt
First things first
Gotta find me a bathroom to get this blood out my shirt
I cry because I want out
I cry…

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Winter stayed and every beat in my heart was hollowed and delayed ❤

mentalnotes1

Fire stones rip through my daydreams

Strong holds

Schemes and tactics

Screams

My name

And life never seemed the same

Winter brought pain froze still up against this game

It was an evil twist

Loving you beyond the bliss was a wicked kiss

That blamed him, her and daddy

For all of this

My heart missed every season

I thought it was you that gave life meaning and reason

But winter stayed

And each beat in my heart was hollow and delayed

Bottomless floors

And empty doors

Were prolonged

For way too long

Until winter

And snow flakes

Froze still

Upon my lips

Where a thousand rips

That brought lessons

To this season

 

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