As they watch
Feet hitting pavement
Feeling no breeze
And their shoulders
Feel the weight
The breeze sways to the rain
But my ankles still tattooed a lock to your chain
And I talk to myself
Cause wont nobody else listen
I listened to his heart beat
I wrapped my legs between his feet
I watched him sleep and tucked him safely away in the warmth of my sheets
I played with his ears
Somehow that soothed my fears
I scaled his face with my point finger
And I cried
Was well on its way
The sun brings mourning
Swept away like yesterday
And today I smile
I’ve decided to write.
Tonight’s not like any other night.
Everything feels right, nothing’s wrong.
I haven’t felt this way in so long.
I’m at peace, all the chaos has finally ceased.
There’s so much to be grateful for.
God is opening so many doors.
Have you ever looked at the stars.
And wondered if there’s life force on mars.
And if their struggles are the same as ours.
My mind is not somewhere far away.
The only thing I worry about is what to cook today.
I’m not on the streets walking the beat.
Panhandling just to get a bite to eat.
Some angel sent down to lend a hand.
In the form of some perverted man.
And when I do get the money it’s like bee’s on honey.
Dope boys ridin’ with that look like…WASSUP!
So I do what I do, and I run like a little girl late for school.
They see desperation in my eyes.
They ask me.
Do you need this?
And of course I lie.
They’re tigers looking for meat.
So I get high and I’m back on the streets, with nowhere to go.
I know some old man’s looking for a show.
It’s lonely out here.
Damn, no one knows.
I look and see girls just as lonely as me, wishing to pray or praying to wish to be free.
But drugs were all we were able to see.
And I know deep down inside this isn’t really me.
I knew this man he took my girl for a ride.
I told her not to go she said she wouldn’t but she lied.
She thought I was try’na steal her trick.
It’s funny how a junkies mind ticks.
The core of this disease had me constantly on my knees and it wasn’t to pray.
There were many days I had to swallow my pride.
I was seriously contemplating suicide.
I just wanted to kill myself and die.
I was a hopeless bum ten times over and then some.
Why did my friend have to go for that ride?
I got this really strange feeling inside.
I kept seeing visions of her being swept up on a tide.
I kept getting these visions over and over again.
She’s probably high, real hard to defend.
It was during my worst days that I prayed.
I was walking through life’s crazy maze, and in an alley way there my friend laid.
This was bad news. I was lost and completely confused and was living in a world of self-centered fools!
I’ve been asking God to send me a sign.
Leave this place, right now’s the time.
This is where I’m at this moment is mine.
Should I stay or should I go?
Please someone help me ‘cause I don’t know.
All I know is where I’ve been, near death experiences and 100% sin.
I’ll never forget how I let this disease win.
When I think of the fire I’ve survived.
I often wonder why I’m still alive.
God has this major plan and I’m so excited cause I haven’t ran.
My friend got killed by some crazy man… but I believe she was part of Gods perfect plan.
Some have to die for others to live and for that reason I promise to give all of me to recovery.
I have one chance to make this right.
And for that reason I promise to always walk in Gods eye sight.
Wanna walk in my shoes?
I don’t think so.
These are places no one should ever go.
Thank you, Ladies of the Night.
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My "bump" was in 2016 when, aged 48, I suffered a stroke. This blog charts my recovery. (Header clipart licensed by pngguru.com.)
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a site to find writings that will speak to my state of mind - poetry, commentary, etc.
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