This post was from 2012, wow, what a difference a year makes.

 

I wake up as I do every night at three in the morning, Blatter weighing heavy on me and the cold from the still room engulfs me. As I get back to my cherry wood Victorian style queen size canopy bed I check my text messages as I normally would. After peeing a river and watching my cat storm glair at me, her ears flare aware of the twinkle sound hitting the porcelain bowl. I think of this secret no one but me and God knows, it hurts so bad to love someone and not be able to tell a soul https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2014/04/28/no-one-knows-but-god-and-mepoetry/

My heart is heavy because I could feel him and I love him and I need him. I looked at my phone my heart leaped out of my chest, my breathing got heavy and poor storm leaped on my bed to my aide. But she was no consolation because it was him I wanted. His text was brief; it read “Hey, You up??” I laid back on my mass of pillows wishing for them to comfort me as I held the phone close to my heart. I could hear the sound of love vibrating through my chest. I needed desperately to move this mountain called love https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2012/09/20/i-moved-that-mountain-poetry/ 

I have tried to replace him with the man from the coffee shop but even that is dangerous to replace someone with someone else the way he did me https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2014/04/28/danger-epigram-poetry-true-story/

I still love him and time hasn’t removed him from my memory yet https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2014/04/28/time-is-an-illusion/,  I look at my Samsung Galaxy android, holding it tight, praying for him to persist making it hard for me to resist…but nothing came. I cried as I normally did after his text messages because only a fool would respond so I knew I couldn’t ): I just wanted him to STOP https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2012/08/14/stop-poetry/  because I am nothing to him, never was and never will be because he is married and could never be mines.

Something in me waits patiently for his demise because she will hurt him again and I won’t be around to nature him back to health,,,FOOL OFME! https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2014/04/28/shades-of-grey-poetry/

I WANT TO FORGET THE DAY WE MET https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2012/08/06/august-18th-haiku/

I JUST WANT HIM OFF OF ME!    I’M LEFT WITH A BROKEN HEART AND SOME WONDERFUL POEMS, FOOL OF ME!

 

 

Intimacy crept through our rain

It cradled every

Hurt

Hang-up

Blew life through this pain

Pieces lingered

Tried hard to remain

We withdrew from every

Dead kiss

Tried hard to sustain

We day-dreamed into bliss

Tried hard to hold on to the pain

Til only intimacy exists

It melted into us

Like candle wax

And saturated the deepest wounds

Mending even

The most broken crack

We were

Shielded

By Intimacy

Troubles stir up, weeds strangle my opened brain

Roaming my veins and senses

I wear the memories

Mind collapsed

Kill the fucker

Cocaine!

INSANE!

Fingers

Mind bent

Lingers

Time spent

Triggers

Sinners

Went

Maze

For days

Grudge

Anything

Sluggish nudge

To be hugged

And loved

By drugs and street thugs

Alley tugs

Her spirit

Can you hear it

Screaming

Come to me

Come to me

Come to me!

Come to me

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!

GET THE F*** OUT MY BRAIN!!!!!
Cocaine

He Loves me to Life

Through a Cross Road of Love

Leaves Vacancies

A diagnosed Disorder

Makes me Doubled Minded

And I began Sculpting Tears

That proclaims me Beautiful

That was Restitution

To The Man on the Bus

He saw my Haunted House

And read my Braille

Sunday November 3^rd at 1am I will not forget

He Was

Like and Icicle

Melted into me

https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2013/11/27/he-loves-me-to-life-poetry-waudio/

https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2013/11/25/crossroad-of-lovepoetry/

https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2013/11/24/2435/

https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2013/11/17/disorder-random-thoughts/

https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2013/11/17/double-minded-poem/

https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2013/11/12/sculpting-tears-poem/

https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2013/11/06/beautiful-random-thought/

https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2013/11/02/restitution-po/

https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2013/10/31/to-the-man-on-the-bus-pages-matam/

https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2013/10/30/haunted-house-epigram/

https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2013/10/30/braile-poetry/

https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2013/10/29/sunday-november-3-at-1am-dont-forget/

https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2013/10/29/he-was-random-thought/

You touch me in places

Foreign to lingering lust

Where blood flows heavy

And veins pump deeper than an oceans rush

You take me over mountains

You make waters flow from some of the driest, emptiest of fountains

Hidden in a dream

You gave me babies to love me and called them queens

You sunk me into life

Long before I became your wife

You pumped love into my veins

And quoted scripture to repair my broken brain

What a tedious job picking locks and whispering through rusted chains

With nothing to gain

You

Loved

Me

You

Loved me

To

Life

http://seanbidd.com/

AND SO

HERE WE STAND

TOGETHER

Perizzites lay babies in my brain

Forcing poetic germs from these mythological veins

I write and put my random thoughts in mind carved frames

And I bask in my glory playing this poetic game

My passion has no mercy

It has no senseless shame

I’m sworn to secrecy

I have no poetic gain

And if I don’t write

I fear my brain will not regain

Tryna’ master the art of

Poetry.
Memory.
Listen.
Retain.

I am desperate to repeat what my mind has heard

I hide and take refuge from behind these poetic words

I write until my fingers bleed

Making verb babies to add to this poetic breed

And my garden is where I plant these poetic seeds 

For all who roam my pastures to meditate and read

 

So I scribe and plant poetic seeds

I’m addicted to these words

This is my pathetic need

Light lily’s breeze through his building

Turning his mouth cotton candy

Was a moon to me that exhaled my essence?

With laughter

From embarrassment

Or

From an hour glass

Timeless image

Faded photograph

That blew butterflies thru my frame

And sat me on pipes thrusting pulsed between my brains

Not even the roughest twister

Can tame

His hurricane

That paints

A picture

Of Her

My tear drops become a puddle

A puddle becomes a river

A river becomes an ocean

An ocean becomes emotion

Until I am at the bottom of the sea
***

 Quietly
***

 Speaking to the spirits

While crying

Crocodile Tears