MENTALNOTES

PAINFUL DEATH (RANDOM THOUGHTS)

I will never again

Allow myself to feel

The pain

Of being

Out of love

I won’t die

Ever again

 

Such a painful death

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WAITIN” ON ME (POETRY)

 

Wishing I was anorexic to throw up this mess

Heart pounding through my chest

Pedestrians moving slow just to watch this train wreck

In the midst of all the confusion

I try so hard to defuse them

To refuse them

The thoughts that sought after me

As I walk in the valley of the shadow of death

I fear all evil

 

The reason is treason is why those things hunt for me

And melts my candles dry way before that 100th try

Grown in my pants doing the happy dance

Transforming sin

Only to begin the noise again

Like wolves in the night

The eye can’t see what the mind tries so hard to fight

Scrambling and fighting for what’s right with the wrong

Because God takes too long

Want to live not relive the forgotten, because the roots rotten

But I still try as my dreams fly by

I ain’t fuckin’ around with that evil sound that keeps talkin’ to me and comin’ to me, and wantin’ me!

And the light always shines on my weary soul!

In my heart of heart there’s something I know I need to do

But I can’t remember because I keep falling asleep

Wake me up from this possession I’m in

This desperation I’m in

Nailed to my own personal cross of sorrow

Waiting for tomorrow

To turn it all around!!!!

Before I hear that sadistic sound that knows my name and has everything to gain

But I’m back in that empty room

My own personal tomb

That I dressed up with flowers

Knick knacks

And curtains

To cover the cinder blocks that took me too long to stack

Some little girls waiting for me!

Some little girl is waiting for me!

Some little girl is waiting just for me!

And been waitin’ and waitin’

And she ain’t waitin’ for my sad to take me away

She got some things she got to say

Like

What took you so long?

FEATURE (GAUDENZIA HOUSE PHILOSAPHY)

We are here because there is no refuge

Finally, from ourselves

Until people confront themselves in the eyes and hearts of others

They are running

Until they suffer others to share their secrets

They have no safety from them

Afraid to be known

They can know neither themselves nor any other

They will be alone!
Where else but in our common ground can we find such a mirror

Here, together, people can at last appear clearly to themselves

Not as the giant of their dreams,

Nor the dwarfs of their fears

But as individuals

Part of a whole

With a share in its purpose
In this ground we can each take root and grow

Not alone anymore as in death

But alive to ourselves and to others

HE CALLED ME HER (POETRY W/ AUDIO)

Broken Heart Emo

http://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/he-called-me-her-poetry#play

Her name flew from his mouth and dangled in the air

But she lives in his heart and she will always be their

Her name was inches from his lips

The same ones I just kissed

And I’d be fooling myself

If I said he wouldn’t be missed

I looked in his face

And I could see this was no cold case

Cause he still loved her

My emotions will have me twisted somewhere beyond belief

And have me so out of touch I’ll be hard to reach

Her name

Her name drifted past my cheek

And stood its position for weeks

And I knew she was their

And he knew I knew

I was mopping in a snap shot

And deserving of every emotion I got

Because I knew he was broken

And he knew I knew

Tonight I sat in my class drinking from a half empty glass

And all I could hear was her name

And he and I would never be the same

And I had no one but me to blame

For

My lapse in judgment

My heart is screaming

And bleeding

And needing him

I try to smile

Going about my day

But my mind is miles

And miles

And miles away

Because I love him

He called me her name and I froze

It was her name that told the truth

He is not mines

Please God free me from my insanity

Cause all the pieces are with her

Never in my life had this occurred

That day is a blurr

But what I will never forget

Is that he called me her

I could not pretend

And I dare not give him a chance to do it again

See

Because

He

Is

Not

Mines

PROLIFIC BLOGGER AWARD (:

THANKS http://morbidinsanity02.wordpress.com/ FOR THE NOMINATION (:

Ok, I am going to change the game up a little because I can’t imagine only choosing one blogger as the winner because I like so many.

Ok so here are the rules, just keep writing (: and if you get a chance and only if you get a chance not today or tommorow but maybe within the month.

Here are seven facts about myself  as asked by http://morbidinsanity02.wordpress.com/ she nominated me (:

1. I am a little wierd but very loving

2. I have diognosed myself Bipolar because I hate doctors

3. I am very moody and antisocial

4. I would give you the shirt off my back

5. I do my own pedicures

6. I am a recovering herion addict and I celebrated 2 years clean Sept. 24…YIPPIE (:

7. I AM A SUCKER FOR A SOB STORY!

You must write a poem or short story mentioning all the blogs I mentioned below (: have fun.

http://ifmysoulcouldspeak.wordpress.com/

http://yomicfit.wordpress.com/

http://poetmagic.wordpress.com/

http://sagedoyle.wordpress.com/

http://lovelifeandpoetry.com/author/gloriathepoet/

http://lyricalanarchy.wordpress.com/

http://thebrineylass.wordpress.com/

http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/

http://http://mishaburnett.wordpress.com/

http://reverendhellfire.wordpress.com/

http://window2mysoul.wordpress.com/

http://thenightsyde.wordpress.com/

http://window2mysoul.wordpress.com/

http://runningonsober.wordpress.com/

http://mentalnotes2.wordpress.com/

I COULD REALLY GO ON AND ON BUT I HAVE BEEN COPYING AND PASTING FOR OVER AN HOUR AND MY ALARM CLOCK WILL BE BUZZING IN 5 HOURS. YOU ALL ARE WINNERS (: