Sometimes I can hear it

Your spirit

I feel it

When I peel you

Off of me

I fear you when you scale my soul

And antagonize me with your mind control

But I can’t tell anyone

No one but me and God knows

See, my tears drown me

And the thoughts surround me

The most profound artery

The heart

The best part of me

And a picture is still not worth a thousand words

Here I sit

Caged by this weapon

This lesson

This transgression

An invisible blessing

That awaits me after the rain

Cause we won’t sustain

Without a little pain

You would crucify me

If you could see

Thank God no one can ever know

But God and me

Only a fool continues to think about

What was

But worst of all

What could never be

And it hurts

That no one can know

But God and me

And his lesson has not fallen on deaf ears

So I am grateful that he was their

To catch my every tear

But it still hurts

That no one can ever know

But God and me

I have no sense of time
For when you came to me in a blackened Knight
A token that was broken
Blind from dangers
And past life
Twisted sighs
Sunken earth and darkened sky
Pieces float to you
And earth has no filter
Tainted
And years go wither when I came through you
And no headstone can replace a memory
Listened silence
And I wave
And I wave
And I wave to you
When at first I came to you
And a flower is like a hair
Touches nothing from a shadows unseen glair
Life has no form and waters rage deep
Blended pleasures between this storm under oceans feet
Fed daggers
Hidden
Buried
Sweet
Confused when you take this form
Rushing life from you only births still born
Masturbation lay at my feet
And love sways full moons

 

I had an oversupply of fuck yous

That nobody knew

Came

From

Me

I can hear it in the distance

Bleeding the sound

That can be heard miles

And miles

And miles beneath burdened ground

I can feel it

Even under a whisper

Sensations plague my senses

Without my permission

Like military transistors

And lust craves my very essence

Sad and lonely suffers my bones

Left me

Dropped

Lava

Melted

Deep

Ratchet

Between dark alleys

And ancient cobblestones

Tears heavy like bricks

Pots so deep it was hard to mix

The word fix with exist

And my inner twitch was hard to resist

Because

I

Still

Love him

His lips

Drip

Melted candle sticks

Was a bad trip

Standing beyond this cliff

Waiting for pigs to fly

And I had an oversupply of fuck yous

That nobody knew

Came

Directly

From

Me

I used to know Sanchez

He was every Spanish

Every PuertoRico

Every San Juan

Every memory

Tenderly tucked away

In my smart phone

He was my lover

He was my Papi

TOMBSTONE IN MY MATTRESS (POETRY W/ AUDIO)

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/TOMBSTONE IN MY MATTRESS-on-monday-1

I’ve got Tombstones in my Mattress 

Waiting for the next certain death

To join this grave site of men and women I have not yet met

I deem it over before it begins

And I mourn these relationships

Over

And over again

I got Tombstones in my Mattress

And I practice pretending they aren’t there

Potholes and traps for all who enter these tomb filled snares

I got ash cans and grey post

That line the belly of this seam

I got construction going on

In the trinkets of my dreams

In the pit of my Mattress

I call it the dead zone

There building a fortress

And fences

Calling it their home

And they aint even paying rent

I evicted two tenants

And  could care less where they went

I’ve got Tombstones in my Mattress

And I’m prepared to burn this dwelling place

Can’t sleep at night

Without these men staring me in my face

These tombstones have been constructed for over twenty long years

And there comfortable in my bed

Playing spade and swallowing down imported beers

I’m not sad

Depressed

Or angry

I just want these men gone

They’ve been sleeping in my bed with me for twenty years too long

I got diamonds hidden in these dirt filled tombs

Being smothered by dandelions and oversized poisoned mushrooms

My bed has become crowded

And the only person I’m angry at is me

Because I have allowed these men to literally enslave me

I’ve got souls that I desperately need to set free

I keep these memories alive and I hate the reflection I see

I got construction workers knocking walls down building rooms to be filled

While I’m shoveling dirt working hard to empty this dirt filled mill

Gatekeepers come from nowhere, hired in this dark ground of doom

I’ve invited men in to fill these empty tombs

I cannot stand being cramped up in my own bed

I demised a portal

For people who have long time been dead

They have decomposed

Honestly some of them I don’t even know

It’s God awful that their locked in this trench

I’m not sure how much longer I can tolerate this awful stench

Every tombstone has a different face

And a different name

But they’re not much different at all

Really their all the same

I got all these people living in my bed

And it’s deep

It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten a good night’s sleep

I am on the brink of something really big

Tonight, these men are getting the hell up out my bed

I want to be rid of this affliction

So tonight, I’m sure I’ll be handing out some evictions

INSOMNIA (POETRY W/ AUDIO)

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/INSOMNIA -poetry

Finger tips and microchips dissect my random thoughts

While movies play obsessively of all that daddy taught

I’m here once a week tryn’a get the bugs out my head

But the only thing this quack does is prescribe another fuckin med

Bugaboos and daja vu’s taunt my twisted brain

Perplexing me and vexing me

Take me out these fuckin chains

I shift my body loosely tryn’a pull back on the reins

But these voices keep whispering to me

Saying

VOICES: You know you’re fucking insane

Clouds of shame

Socially stained

Fully engulfed in this cryptic game

I can’t escape these aweful memories

So  I try and write away the pain 

I lay there blamelessly

As he dissects my twisted mind

ME: Yea I know

As he looks ahead and says

DOCTOR: Were out of fucking time

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

Finger tips and microchips dissect my twisted thoughts

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

While tapes play obsessively of all that daddy taught

ME: Yea I know

DOCTOR: Were out of fucking time

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