HURT

PAINFUL DEATH (RANDOM THOUGHTS)

I will never again

Allow myself to feel

The pain

Of being

Out of love

I won’t die

Ever again

 

Such a painful death

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TIME IS AN ILLUSION (POETRY REPOST W/AUDIO)

The seclusion

The confusion

Try’na lose them

THE THOUGHTS

Pray for me

Stay with me

Just lay with me

Stay away from me

INSANITY!

The pain I can’t keep you from

No matter how hard I try

My spirit wont let me run

From

THE PAIN!

The contusions

Cant move them

Didn’t choose them

Can’t sooth them

Thats why Time is an Illusion

See, Time is an Illusion, because

The minutes

Hours

Days

They wont let me forget

That it’s the thoughts in your head I try and resist

Yes

YOUR THOUGHTS

I’m not psycic

But sometimes I feel you and it’s heavy

And cant no levee tame your tidle wave of emotion

AND I AINT TALKIN BOUT LOVE…

If I knew what you knew

I’d tell time it was a lie

But the truth can’t be ignored

No matter how hard I try

EVIDENCE!

I can’t put expectations on TIME

Because it will always let me down

So I pray away the thoughts

And play meditational sounds

Just to bring time back to its original state

Can’t run from pain

Can’t hide from fate

Cause time will never wait

Thats why

TIME IS AN ILLUSION

HIM (POETRY)

My heart has been suctioned from my chest

Unfortunately

There are very few pieces left

Feeble attempts at trying to mask

This impossible task

I asked God to send me some angles

I need armies of them

And I need them fast

He is not him

And I realize I have victimized myself again

My days seen mundane

And there is a constant storm brewing in my brain

My nerves are scard

And my days seem like centuries behind these tortured bars

Moving from the chatter won’t matter

Because the only one I want is

Him

Please God just give him back

LEMONADE (POETRY W/ AUDIO)

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/lemonade-poetry

I will make lemonade

And dance and sing

And laugh and cry

And drive far distances while singing praises

I will stomp and cry

And laugh and talk to myself and ramble on

And cry and laugh and tear up

I will write poetry

And write

And write

And write some more

I will isolate with God

And talk and laugh and drive far distances

I will stop and vent to strangers and God

And cry and sing and laugh and dance

And I will read scriptures and meditate on TD Jakes sermons

And call my best friend and tell her all about my woes

I will hate myself and my decisions and second guess myself

I will meditate on my past

Not just him but her too

And I will dance harder because I know

My break through is on the other side of my stomp

And I will cuddle up to grandmamma

And talk to God, auntie and myself

I will sing my favorite Yolanda Adams song and

And I will sing it loud and cry some more

I will go to self-help groups

Listen to more sermons

Take long walks while singing praises

And think

And cry and laugh

And dance

And squeeze lemons

And I will not hate him

Or her

But in the end

I will thank them

While serving lemonade

In celebration glasses

DAMAGED (POETRY)

You say you tried while I cried.

The guilt was eating you alive.

Because it was me you deprived and still I rise.

Baby, my guns were down even when you weren’t around.

You wanted the streets more than you wanted me.

And whenever you were around I had to beg and plead.

It’s crazy because you knew my need.

You watched my heart bleed and deprived me of my seed.

I waited and waited but a sista’s got needs.

Your mental crown turned upside down every time you walked out that door.

And I’d let you back like I was begging for more.

Walking in our house smelling like a French whore.

But you grabbed hold of me.

Rough like I like it and I got excited and it was hard to fight it.

My passion for you always ran too deep.

But you played me for cheap, thought we were playing for keeps.

As much as I try not to, I smell you when I sleep.

I am done weeping and next time it’s my heart I’ll be keeping.

No matter how much damage you’ve done.

It ain’t never stopped beating!

                                                                    Thank you, Ex.