I find Gratitude

There’s those days  I wonder what my purpose is in life”

Why I was here and why I was consumed with fear.

I fell asleep obsessing on what the next day would possess.

And what else would the world confess to me.

And how many more awful things will I have to see, with all of the world’s diversities.

I swam thru life like a seed in the womb, anxiously awaiting exposure.

Like a butterfly in its cocoon.

Like the unknown on the moon.

I’m overwhelmed with anxiety and uneducated stares from society, because of my sobriety.

I was just a girl trying to find herself.

I was lost.

I saw women my age, so strong.

Meanwhile everything in my life felt all wrong.

Most days I was so angry I couldn’t even think.

And by each passing moment I sank deeper and deeper into the darkest part of life.

The part I have become strong enough to fight.

I find gratitude when I see the homeless sleeping under a bridge, and people living like pigs.

I myself have been places a rat wouldn’t go.

And had been knee deep homeless in the snow.

I find gratitude when I see babies born to AIDS, and how afraid they must feel.

I find gratitude when I think of the mothers, and guilt will kill.

And if these truths are giving you chills, then you know how I feel.

I feel gratitude when I think of women who have been killed for the taste of the thrill.

I feel gratitude when I think of crack addicted babies with that constant cry.

Doctors working hard, but millions still die.

I find gratitude every time I pick up a pen.

And express today, I won’t let the darkest part of life win.

I find gratitude when I think of the people who have lost their minds.

Walking in the wilderness trying to catch up with the time.

I find gratitude because I have somewhat of a clear mind.

Still a little lost…

But the hope is I am trying to find.

I find gratitude when I hear the birds sing.

I used to hate the noise, now I understand the reason they sing.

I find gratitude every time I feel the sun.

I got another day clean and I’m going to get another one.

I find gratitude when I think of what I have been through.

I am finally happy, joyous and free.

And you can be too.


                                                                        Thank you, Gratitude.












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