DEPRESSION

MORPHINE DRIP (POETRY ) REPOST

For Halloween I want to be a morphine drip

To let the sun dry me up

And run healing through this broken cup

But there is no sun in October

And the weather is always better after the rain

The atmosphere is clearer

But the environment stays the same

 

For Halloween I want to be a morphine drip

And sip on tomorrow

And lend out me

And get back things people have barrowed

I want to empty this drip

And let go of Eden that holds on to me with a death grip

The Garden of Eden was not a place

But and atmosphere

And things are not always as beautiful as they may appear

 

For Halloween I want to be a morphine drip

So I can crawl backwards through my veins

And nod sluggishly off into corrosion

Mixing this chemical with the rain

 

I want to be a morphine drip

To plunge into this open rip

Keep me filled to slow this painful trip

 

Drip into this wrought

And saturate every

Contaminated

Delusional

Unclean

Thought

 

Drip until you can only see the whites of my eyes

Please don’t touch me

Because everything that enters me dies

So keep me planted in this metaphoric drip

Because October will soon be gone

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MY “VALLEY” (POETRY) w/ audio

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/my-valley-poetry 

Valleys can either make or break you

My Valley is lonely

 Isolated and full of deceit

Forcing me to retreat back to my shell

 I call a cell

Imprisoned to my own thoughts

Imprisoned to my own tormented mind

Way beyond the required time

I’m drowning in my own little house of horror

And my “Valley” won’t let me go

Silenced by my own paranoia

Afraid to accept LaToya just for whose she is

My intuition tells me I’m wrong

Because I’ve stayed in this “Valley” way too long

And I dressed it up with my own personal sorrow

Calgon won’t take it away

And Ativan only begs my “Valley” to stay

BUT IT’S MINE

I’ve staked claims on many things

Only to find out they were all frivolous flings

But this “Valley” is mine

And I’m not even sure I want to leave

Scared to retrieve the rainbow after the rain

Not sure how grateful I am for the pain

But at least it keeps me in my “Valley”

Away from the world

 That would want nothing more than to eat me alive

My “Valley” helps me survive

I don’t have to talk, smile or converse

And those dreadful hugs that sometimes makes my skin crawl

I often think about leaving this “Valley”

BUT I’M SCARED

When I first got here I promised myself I wouldn’t unpack

 

I knew when I noticed my toothbrush I had gone so far off track

Some say

“Just step out of the mud”

But until you’ve walked a mile in my shoes

PLEASE DON’T JUDGE

It’s mine and I’m just not ready to leave