STOP looking in my mind

And taking me back in time

STOP takeing me to places

I never wished to go

STOP tryn’a make me fit

In your 3 dementional grit

STOP tryn’a make me bleed

STOP tryn’a make me see

Only pieces of what could be

STOP

Because the other pieces are with her

STOP TRYING TO HOLD ON

TO SOMETHING THAT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE

STOP PRETENDING TO LOVE ME

STOP!

Things are not always as they appear

I loved you from a distance

Because I knew dooms day would come

There were too many reasons to run

Like chasing the sun

See, we were always shades of grey

And I just wanted your pain to go away

But never at my expense

And it will never be the same

‘Cause sensations knows your name

From past games

And she has only her image to sustain

So never think it’s about you…

See from my womanly point of view

She will never want you

The way you want her to

And you will be broken

Once

Again

Be

Cause

She

Is

Tainted

Tainted by the past

And even love don’t last

Fool of me!

And now…

I wait

And wait

I wait patiently

 

Turbulence through this double face

What a broken place

Sand storms elude this chase

There was no one to catch the red that fell from this place

Double minded

Can’t rewind it

Because she will always wear

A painted smile

NOT MY MAN! (POETRY)

 

 

I want to get him and get him good

I am seeing red

As I watch them both laying in our bed

Him giving my man what looked like some “meeeeaaan” head

The chic from kill bill won’t have shit on me

I will start with his lover, make him watch, make him see

I’m ready to spend the rest of my life in jail

I might as well go all the way

They both can go straight underneith of hell

This can’t be my reality

Homosexuality

A preference, a personal reference

But oh God

Not my man!

 

 

 

 

DECIEVED (POETRY W/AUDIO)

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/deceived

Walking blindly into a deep abyss.

Vulnerable…

But still willing to take that fatal kiss.

DECEPTION…

The cover that loomed above.

Drowning in a fantasy of lies and forbidden love.

Smeared with deception so thick it couldn’t be cut.

Needing so desperately to close a door I was unable to shut.

My heart is so heavy and my belly won’t obey.

My mind says one thing, but the ache in my heart won’t go away.

This fantasy I created.

Oh, how I wish it were real.

But my anger won’t let me forget what this man tried so hard to steal.

Its only been a little while.

I was empty.

And so it didn’t take long.

Before my fantasy turned into that same tragic song.

Denial was the essence that enabled me not to see.

That this man was not my future or even part of my destiny.

DECEPTION mailed with a smile.

I could see it for miles but laid in my own denial.

Trails, tracks and footprints so many clues.

Can’t blame him cause I chose to play the fool.

Heart won’t stop pounding thru my chest.

Could be feeling worse thought I had mastered this mess.

Tired of feeling my own heartbeat!

Tired of listening to my own lies!

Though I know the truth I still lie in my own denial!

Got to force myself to eat!

Tossing and turning between my own sheets.

I finally ball myself up in a knot and cry myself to sleep.

Accepting complete defeat.

On my knees praying, crying and begging God for emotional freedom…

But still wanting so, so, so, so, so, so badly just to see him.

Just to kiss him.

Just to touch him.

Justa, justa what!!!!

Well if I knew I wouldn’t be writing so fucking much.

My thinking is so jilted its hard just to concentrate.

But I’m going to hold on and if I do eventually I will be back in a peaceful state.

I will get thru this and there will be another guy and hopefully I won’t have to tell the next one goodbye.

One more thing, I WILL NOT GET HIGH.

 

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

PleaseLoveme!

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