SEE FULL POEM

https://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/2012/09/20/i-moved-that-mountain-poetry/

You can’t see that mountain I moved

I moved it through grooves

Tombs

And empty rooms

Yup just me and God (:

A collection of weapons used

A pretense

Unconscious defense

Against

A wounded heart

WORDS!

Love transformed me

Nobody warned me

Of this dis-ease

I have three hundred and sixty- five and a half reasons why I shouldn’t be at this place

And still I wait…

HE LIED (POETRY)

 

Adrenaline whizzed through my veins

And I tried hard to maintain

Some sort of dignity

I had the opportunity to bow out gracefully

But I stayed

My reactions were delayed

And every personality that lived in me

Felt betrayed

Because he lied

 

Every minute felt like an eternity

I felt the burn in me

Ready to ignite

Every nerve in me was ready for this fight

And I knew I had no business going there

I sped to his house

At a 100 mile per hour zoom

I tore up everything

I went room to room

 

This was distasteful

I was mean and I was hateful

And it sickened me

This infliction in me

That consumed every entrance in me

 

But I was already possessed

So I prayed for relief

Because this feeling was way too deep

 

I was not a rah-rah girl

Just a woman who had been lied to

DECIEVED (POETRY W/AUDIO)

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/deceived

Walking blindly into a deep abyss.

Vulnerable…

But still willing to take that fatal kiss.

DECEPTION…

The cover that loomed above.

Drowning in a fantasy of lies and forbidden love.

Smeared with deception so thick it couldn’t be cut.

Needing so desperately to close a door I was unable to shut.

My heart is so heavy and my belly won’t obey.

My mind says one thing, but the ache in my heart won’t go away.

This fantasy I created.

Oh, how I wish it were real.

But my anger won’t let me forget what this man tried so hard to steal.

Its only been a little while.

I was empty.

And so it didn’t take long.

Before my fantasy turned into that same tragic song.

Denial was the essence that enabled me not to see.

That this man was not my future or even part of my destiny.

DECEPTION mailed with a smile.

I could see it for miles but laid in my own denial.

Trails, tracks and footprints so many clues.

Can’t blame him cause I chose to play the fool.

Heart won’t stop pounding thru my chest.

Could be feeling worse thought I had mastered this mess.

Tired of feeling my own heartbeat!

Tired of listening to my own lies!

Though I know the truth I still lie in my own denial!

Got to force myself to eat!

Tossing and turning between my own sheets.

I finally ball myself up in a knot and cry myself to sleep.

Accepting complete defeat.

On my knees praying, crying and begging God for emotional freedom…

But still wanting so, so, so, so, so, so badly just to see him.

Just to kiss him.

Just to touch him.

Justa, justa what!!!!

Well if I knew I wouldn’t be writing so fucking much.

My thinking is so jilted its hard just to concentrate.

But I’m going to hold on and if I do eventually I will be back in a peaceful state.

I will get thru this and there will be another guy and hopefully I won’t have to tell the next one goodbye.

One more thing, I WILL NOT GET HIGH.

 

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

PleaseLoveme!

Excerpt (Shades of Grey)

SHE WILL NEVER WANT YOU

THE WAY YOU WANT HER TO

AND YOU WILL BE BROKEN

ONCE

AGAIN

BE

CAUSE

SHE

IS

TAINTED

TAINTED BY THE PAST

AND EVEN LOVE DONT LAST

FOOL OF ME!

 

 

AND NOW…

I WAIT

AND WAIT

I WAIT PATIENTLY

FOR YOUR SHADES OF GREY