My Midnight – Poe-Estory

Needing validation from some man

Any man

Wanting to be someone’s biggest fan

While my mind ran wild

Reminiscing about the boys I was attracted to as a child

The excitement that ran thru me was too intense to describe

There was this one particular guy that gave me this awfully strange vibe

And yes!

I was wide open for him

With his big back and size 9 brown Tim’s

He said, with his dark juicy lips

I stood there with attitude with my hands on my hips

He said

“girl you so pretty I just had to let you know, can I take you to dinner or maybe a show”

I was mesmerized by his smooth dark skin

My defenses wanted to say no but I knew the softness in me would win

I went home nervous and filled with fear

My heart wouldn’t stop pounding and on top of that I had absolutely nothing to wear

There was a war going on in my mind that my heart wasn’t trying hear

I decided to call him and tell him I couldn’t go

He picked up the phone, I guess caller ID and said, please don’t tell me no

I was in a panic could this really be

Could this handsome man really like me

We went to dinner and of course a show

I wasn’t sure what to expect I really didn’t know

I stared at him gently and thought

I don’t know how anyone can tell this man no

Women they stopped and stared

I cut my eyes at those broads like don’t even dare

This man was handsome and OH SO FINE

And just for tonight Mr. Chocolate was all mine

The men they whispered

“Dame she’s a dime”

He tipped the waiter and said

“Bring us the finest wine”

The restaurant was nice and yes full of talk

I got up and excused myself with my oh so sexy walk

The men they eyed and said dame who is she

My midknight turned around and said.

“Oh she’s with me”

We laughed and talked and got to know what each other liked

I was so nervous ‘cause everything felt so right

Meanwhile I was filled with fear

The night was almost over and I was really, really scared

Was he like the others would he try to get me in his bed

He looked at me, said goodnight, and kissed my hand instead

That was really different, that I couldn’t take

All thru the night my thoughts I would awake

This man had me shook with his manly ways and his oh so serious look

There came a day he said

“We need to talk seriously”

That was the day I said yes and became his wife to be

Remember in the beginning when I was tempted to say no

Well it’s been 55 years and I’m glad he made me go

Imagine 55 years with just one man

I’m proud to say he still loves me and I’m still his biggest fan

April 16, 2013 2

DEATH ROW

13 ‘0 clock was where my watch stopped

Living pass my hour glass

Repeating this mantra

This cannot be it

What happens after the brand new car, fancy job, the friends, published books and the degree I always wanted?

I ain’t happy and my thoughts lately have been…THIS CANNOT BE IT!

April 1, 2013 4

JILTED DREAM (POETRY)

Ain’t no fun when the duck got the gun

Like Lauryn Hill said

“You might win some but you just lost one”

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide

I pray your pain is continuous

I want my wrath to be verminous

Nobody wins in this

Yea, I’m taking you on this tragic ride

I wanted to tie you up

Drag you to the Susquehanna River and drown you

But God may have gotten clever and baptized you

And I want you on the other side

My pain will never subside

You a damn lie

Always complaining about how hard you tried

And now I’m running

You pissed me off

Played me for soft now look what it cost

You better pray that your soul ain’t lost

I know you feeling cold

And it would give me great pleasure to watch your body mold

Yea your girl is cold

You wound me up tight

Caught you off guard no way to prepare for this fight

No recess or resets, we ain’t on set

Should have known you was no good the moment we met

Too late for apologies ‘cause you’re dead to me

The red looks good to me

You done released the CRAZY in me

I got your wife tied up in the basement just so she can look at me

Y’all took too much from me

I had to kill both of you and it’s destroying me

But I wake up and realize it wasn’t real

I’m too soft, and it just ain’t in me to kill

March 25, 2013 3

You say you tried while I cried

The guilt was eating you alive

Because it was me you deprived and still I rise

Baby, my guns were down even when you weren’t around

You wanted the streets more than you wanted me

And whenever you were around I had to beg and plead

It’s crazy because you knew my need

You watched my heart bleed and deprived me of my seed

I waited and waited but a sista’s got needs

Your mental crown turned upside down

Every time you walked out that door

And I’d let you back like I was begging for more

Walking in our house smelling like a French whore

But you grabbed hold of me

Rough like I like it

And I got excited

And it was hard to fight it

My passion for you always ran too deep

But you played me for cheap

Thought we were playing for keeps

As much as I try not to

I smell you when I sleep

I am done weeping

And next time it’s my heart I’ll be keepin’

No matter how much damage you’ve done

It ain’t nevva stopped beatin’

March 23, 2013 0

LOVE SO DEEP (POETRY)

How you so easily say you no longer love thee

And you no longer wish to be with me

All I do anymore is weep

As much as I try not to

I smell you in my sleep

The love we shared always ran so deep

Like Romeo and Juliet

OH, such sweet sorrow

Until we meet again tomorrow

In our case, tomorrow never came

For today and tomorrow shall forever stay the same

As wonderful as love should be

It’s our love that set us both free

Our spirits for no one person could tame

It’s our desperate love that should forever stay the same

For we shall prove our love was never in vain

There will always be the tale of you and I

We will swim with the heavens and kiss the sky

The stars are envious of you and I

And the souls below

It’s a mystery why we loved so desperately deep

There are many who can only weep

For they will never experience love so deep

For we dared such delicate sin

You and I together souring with the wind

Love a thousand times over could never compare

To the love we so delicately shared

To defy this love I dare

Him and I no one could ever compare

So be careful next time love comes knocking at your door

It will take your heart and so much more

And if you’re not willing to give it away

Then I’m warning you to stay out of love’s way

March 22, 2013 3

THE GARDEN BEHIND THE TREES (POETRY)

Intimate memories about how sweet he tastes

The way he kissed me and held my face

After such a long awaited chase

He stepped into my presence at such warp speed

My mind was telling me no

But my heart wouldn’t take heed

This relationship was dangerous

And the temptation was a need

The thought of him kept me up many nights

I prayed for one more day to keep him in my sight

I knew if I had him alone I could make things right

So I could tell him my side

I tried hard but my feelings were too hard to hide

I had to let him know these feelings would not subside

I tried to relax to get him out of my mind

I even play some music trying to unwind

Seconds later he’s back in my head

He’s not there physically but his scent is instead

I wish I could convince myself to see

That there is a garden behind the trees

And if I stop using drugs one day he’ll be with me

If only for one night

I apologized for tempting him

He put up a good fight

And I’m coming for him when the time is right

That’s why I loved when he worked nights

I’d walk into his office

Counselor —— can you help me please?

Him and his fancy shirts

He’s such a tease

I asked him

“If I kissed you would you kiss me back”

He told me

“Sometimes things just happen”

And I ran with that

Those words opened up a door

Not as much as his eyes they told me much more

If people only knew what went on behind that office door

There came a day I had to go and I missed him terribly

My patience was tested and I had to wait and see

The staff at that program thought I was crying because I didn’t Want to go

I was really crying because of him

But because of ethics no one could ever know

His position I was well aware

But emotions were involved and the situation seemed unfair

The day came and I had to leave

It was well worth the wait

To see the garden behind the trees

March 22, 2013 7

MARK THIS DAY (POETRY)