THANK YOU FOR THE INSPIRATION http://shackledandcrowned.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/friendship/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNoiZAFNYn4

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/a-thousand-miles-of-highway

We were like a thousand miles of highway

With never ending transitions

A tunnel

A pathway

To everywhere

I know we’ve been in la-la land

Somewhere far away on our journey to love

Random tokens of affection straddle my shoulder

And trickle down my spine

And I know he sees my silhouette dancing slowly for the moon

And yesterday he made love to me from across the room

And it was beautiful

Like all the times before

And it was nothing fancy but so much more

We were like a thousand miles of highway

Riding somewhere pass the end of the earth

Falling

We were…

We were…

We were falling in love

We played footsies from across the room

And he smelled me

Because I was his perfume

And no amount of turmoil could penetrate our portal

We were only mere mortals

But we were in love

When he touched me I felt his protection

This was not about sex

But so much more

We were exempt from

Economics

Social acceptability

Or prejudice

He was my white

And I was his black

And there were no “Grey Areas”

We were in a magic place

We were…

On a thousand miles of highway

Lineage – Poetry

I can’t find my shoestring to my left boot ’cause I unlaced it to shoot up
High on this fentanyl shit
Can’t take it
Enough is enough
My veins are confused
These streets are too ruff
***
I keep hitting that same vein crying
Dying
Trying hard not to give up
Sick ’cause my friend overdosed
Denial is safe tells my brain to shut up
***
Tryna’ find what she had
Drooling
Hard
Saliva
Getting high with my dad
***
Can’t stomach this life but which way do I go
I’m already six feet under
Chasing this dragon far reaching
Plateau
***
I know these streets are cursed
I’m well versed
I’ve planned my funeral I have it rehearsed
I’ve been living in this nightmare
A sick fantasy
Reversed
Get well or die trying
Can’t stand feeling this hurt
***
First things first
Gotta’ find me a bathroom to get this blood out my shirt
***
I cry because I want out
I cry because I have to get well
I fantasize about being a little girl again
Playing hide and seek and riding porcelain carousels
***
Every day gotta find me a way
Gotta find somebody
Somebody help me get well today
***
Daddy sister aunty and uncle were junkies
Granny was too
I shot dope in the bathroom everyday during school
Fourteen years old
Daddy shot me up first
Two days later daddy was dead
O.D’ed while at work
***
I stay high because daddy sister and uncle are gone
Granny too
Its been thirty years
Acute
And I’m still looking for my shoe string I took out of my left boot

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Nauseous – Poetry

Nauseous from all the sour men I’ve eaten

Understanding my belly more because of them it’s deepened

Watching others cope by cutting while I watch the blood seeping

Tired from this nod spend all my time sleeping

I’ve been confused, panicked and afflicted

Poor me another so I become estranged and addicted

Lady Sings the Blues was my song

Tryna’ wait on God but He seems to take too long

Dancing would have been nice if it wouldn’t have sickened my brain

Spirituality gone wild need a lion trainer to tame

Moonless nights and sunless days

So she plays

And she played

And he paid

Running from her Shadow Knights turning into days

And he stays

Then he strays

So she prays

An evil trick left me sick nervous click felt time tick

Took me days and days till Dawn the universe spinning there’s no Harmony lost in my yawn

Daydreaming

And so I wait

For the universe to deal me a better hand

Dis-Order (Poetry)

I eat to make the pain fade today
And the dragon in my belly
Plays monstrous villains
Till all my emotional scares fade away
You’ll never understand why I eat the way I do
Don’t try and diagnose me
Because I will eat you away too
I will vomit till my face turns blue
Tryna’ forget that I hate you
And that I hate myself too

DIS-ORDER

He Loved Me to life…

HE CALLED ME HER (POETRY W/ AUDIO)

Her name flew from his mouth and dangled in the air

She lives in his heart and will always be there

Her name was inches from his lips

The same ones I just kissed

And I’d be fooling myself

If I said he wouldn’t be missed

I looked in his face

And I could see this was no cold case

‘Cause he still loved her

My emotions will have me twisted somewhere beyond belief

And have me so out of touch I’ll be hard to reach

Her name

Her name drifted past my cheek

And stood its position for weeks

And I knew she was there

And he knew I knew

I was drowning in a snap shot

And deserving of every emotion I got

Because I knew he was broken

And he knew I knew

Tonight

Head on 

Crash

Drinking from a half empty glass

And all I could hear was her name

And he and I would never be the same

I try to smile

Going about my day

But my mind is miles

And miles

And miles away

Because I loved him

He called me her name and I froze

I could tell by her name she was who he chose

He is not mine

Please God free me from my insanity

‘Cause all the pieces are with her

That day is a blurr

But what I will never forget

Is that he called me her

I could not pretend

And I dare not give him a chance to do it again

See

Because

He

Is

Not

Mine

Broken

 

It was his prolonged rhyme

And clock like broken hand

Yet still made time against me

 

Reader? HELP!  What does this mean TO YOU? I wrote it but its so metaphoric I’m a bit confused.

Fingertips

Darkness has ripped a broken grip

Damp

The smell of tears the familiar fragrance

They dripped

Softness filled the air

Scared

I felt death in this unseen glair

The scent of pain scaled the room and left marks on walls trails bad trip mushrooms

And she blooms to blossom a radiance that only I can smell

And she scales a lingering musk that only she can smell

Searching through darkness for 22 years, I feel the sun only through my ears

Patterns unimagined, heart beating through me and so I feel life

Through my fingertips