I am wondering in this valley

With a shadow

Called death

Desperately trying every trick

To inhale my last breath

As the shadow kneels

It does everything in its power

To make me feel

What is not real

Peel me of my iniquities

My infidelities

This shadow plays mind games with me

It’s crazy in here!

And i can hear the sounds

That tries to keep me bound

To thine own self be true

I’m running from my shadow

Like that scary clown from school

I am screaming out for help

I am doomed to the top shelf

Like a broken piece of china

Labeled

Afflicted!

Addicted!

It’s the wicked things I tell myself

Whew!

It’s crazy in here!

And that thing

That silly thing

That god awful thing

Called fear

Keeps echoing between my ears

And all I can hear

Is

It’s crazy in here!

Here

Here

Here

Echoing

It’s crazy in here!

Here

Here

Here

His eyes weighed heavy on me like 500 hundred pound dumb bells

Hoping he couldn’t read into all my body language and what it could tell

Cause I was moved by his smooth

But was playing it cool

And was trying to keep to this first time rule

I really needed him to move from my side ways view

I was afraid he could see

The fear that lied in me

And smell the lust that rivaled in my mind

And made musical notes in a pattern down my spin

And he was poetry to my soul

From the top of my head to my pinky toe

I swear I felt him land

Dangling like candy above the palm of my hand

Because when I looked at him I saw nothing but man

And boy was I trying hard not to look

I have to be honest I was halfway shook

As I peered deeper and deeper into this novel

He was a 400 page book

I was pretending not to read

And trying hard to breath

As he moved closer to me

At a manly speed

This was the third time we had met

At this very place

And each time he took in

Every inch of my face

Starting at my eyes

And ending at my waist

My emotions failed me

And his eyes derailed me

He sat beside me

Anxiety over rides me

I thought

This isn’t fair I just wanted to sit here

His scent scaled my nose

And every emotion in me rose

BECAUSE HE SMELLED SO GOOD!

I’d kiss him if I could

But he was a stranger

I smelled DANGER

I had to tame her

That thing in me that said many things

That only pain would bring

I moved fast

Trying to erase my past

And I had to let go of the belief

That even love don’t last

I am not a victim

And won’t hold myself hostage to my past

He was dark like chocolate

Just how I liked it

So I relaxed my wall

And he turned and looked at me

He towered over me, this man was tall

And it took deliberate effort for me to get up and leave

Can I have your number?

He even said please

This is the 3rd time I’ve seen you

Can we make it four

You intrigue me, he said

And I’d like to know more

I would come back to this place

Because he had planted a seed

But all I could do was get up and leave

I WILL MEET HIM AGAIN

AT THAT SAME COFFEE SPOT

AND THIS TIME….

WELL YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW

FOR THE NEXT UPDATE

MY MYSTERY MAN 

TRUE STORY

The seclusion

The confusion

Tryna’ lose them

THE THOUGHTS

Pray for me

Stay with me

Just lay with me

Stay away from me

INSANITY!

The pain I can’t keep you from

No matter how hard I try

My spirit won’t let me run

From

THE PAIN!

The contusions

Cant move them

Didn’t choose them

Can’t sooth them

That’s why

Time is an Illusion

The minutes

Hours

Days

They won’t let me forget

That it’s the thoughts

In your head

I try and resist

Yes

YOUR THOUGHTS

I’m not psychic

But sometimes I feel you and it’s heavy

And can’t no levee tame your tidal wave of emotion

AND I AINT TALKIN’ BOUT LOVE…

If I knew what you knew

I’d tell time it was a lie

But the truth can’t be ignored

No matter how hard I try

EVIDENCE!

I can’t put expectations on TIME

Because it will always let me down

So I pray away the thoughts

And play meditational sounds

Just to bring time back to its original state

Can’t run from pain

Can’t hide from fate

Cause time will never wait

That’s why

TIME IS AN ILLUSION

 

I had an oversupply of fuck yous

That nobody knew

Came

From

Me

I can hear it in the distance

Bleeding the sound

That can be heard miles

And miles

And miles beneath burdened ground

I can feel it

Even under a whisper

Sensations plague my senses

Without my permission

Like military transistors

And lust craves my very essence

Sad and lonely suffers my bones

Left me

Dropped

Lava

Melted

Deep

Ratchet

Between dark alleys

And ancient cobblestones

Tears heavy like bricks

Pots so deep it was hard to mix

The word fix with exist

And my inner twitch was hard to resist

Because

I

Still

Love him

His lips

Drip

Melted candle sticks

Was a bad trip

Standing beyond this cliff

Waiting for pigs to fly

And I had an oversupply of fuck yous

That nobody knew

Came

Directly

From

Me

You touch me in places

Foreign to lingering lust

Where blood flows heavy

And veins pump deeper than an oceans rush

You take me over mountains

You make waters flow from some of the driest, emptiest of fountains

Hidden in a dream

You gave me babies to love me and called them queens

You sunk me into life

Long before I became your wife

You pumped love into my veins

And quoted scripture to repair my broken brain

What a tedious job picking locks and whispering through rusted chains

With nothing to gain

You

Loved

Me

You

Loved me

To

Life

I have loved you beyond my hearts ability

Screaming blasphemy at my own spiritual immobility

Lusting for life and my own mental fertility

I still love you beyond my own ability

I can’t even make love to you and it’s killing me

And here I am on the edge of hello

Or goodbye

I’m standing on the crossroad of

Love

http://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/crossroad-of-love

 

My wounds remind me that he is still present

Brought memory to my tears

And turned hearts into jilted crescents

Soft upon my groans

He made rigamortis shift

And threw wind to my broken bones

 Vacancies

Where spider webs scaled empty tombs

 Sad and troubled 

Still tryna’ fill this depressed room

Heart cold upon my floor

Chest pressed heavy against our martyred door 

I am desperate for these broken bones to be restored

An aching in my groans
He made rigamortis shift
And threw wind to my broken bones
Vacancies

Soft upon my pain

Harnessed

Heartless

Broken

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/braile-poetry

I wish

 

I only wish

 

I could write something beautiful

To tame the unsettled beat of my heart

To bring together a union

I push this away before it gets a chance to start

I wish I could weave these vines

And never wish we were crossing into unchartered territory

 

Imaginary lines

 

Beautiful was a stone

That tossed pebbles till full grown

My eight by ten outweighs my pin

Writing keeps the dark away

But I long to see you again

Hearts desires often imagine my wants

The journey is deserts away

Leaving claw marks through this hunt

I lose myself in these vines

Eyes so heavy they become part of mine

And we lose ourselves in this beauty

 

Pregnant

With love

http://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/his-hands-poetry#play

See…

He was a man

Evidence by the incents flowing from his sweat glands

And every drop had the purest destination it would land

He entered with a whisper and gently transitioned  to a command

He spoke in Arabic and taught me the language so that I could understand

Funny thing…

I gathered all this information even before I felt his hands

‘Cause that’s what women do

Investigative reporters

So much better than  Nancy Drew

We’ll be home cooking dinner and at the same time watching you

His hands were so powerful they split Adams and made me two

Its been three weeks now and I’m still collecting his residue

I go to church on Sunday to praise God for making not one hand but two

I know its sounds crazy

But

You didn’t feel his hands!

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/her-hands-were-like-magnets

She had hands like magnets on my skin

Sending pulsations tunneled imagination was a combination

That serenaded my porcelain 

There was something in her gaze

And not even a short paraphrase could describe this woman’s hands

They weren’t  like typing hands but sexy chiseled

They were so powerful her energy turned my storm into a drizzle

I’m telling you this woman’s hands were like magnets

Sending sensations in me so deep they left fragments

I know it sounds crazy

But

You didn’t feel her hands!