Lineage – Poetry

I can’t find my shoestring to my left boot ’cause I unlaced it to shoot up
High on this fentanyl shit
Can’t take it
Enough is enough
My veins are confused
These streets are too ruff
***
I keep hitting that same vein crying
Dying
Trying hard not to give up
Sick ’cause my friend overdosed
Denial is safe tells my brain to shut up
***
Tryna’ find what she had
Drooling
Hard
Saliva
Getting high with my dad
***
Can’t stomach this life but which way do I go
I’m already six feet under
Chasing this dragon far reaching
Plateau
***
I know these streets are cursed
I’m well versed
I’ve planned my funeral I have it rehearsed
I’ve been living in this nightmare
A sick fantasy
Reversed
Get well or die trying
Can’t stand feeling this hurt
***
First things first
Gotta’ find me a bathroom to get this blood out my shirt
***
I cry because I want out
I cry because I have to get well
I fantasize about being a little girl again
Playing hide and seek and riding porcelain carousels
***
Every day gotta find me a way
Gotta find somebody
Somebody help me get well today
***
Daddy sister aunty and uncle were junkies
Granny was too
I shot dope in the bathroom everyday during school
Fourteen years old
Daddy shot me up first
Two days later daddy was dead
O.D’ed while at work
***
I stay high because daddy sister and uncle are gone
Granny too
Its been thirty years
Acute
And I’m still looking for my shoe string I took out of my left boot