Lineage

I can’t find my shoestring to my left boot because I unlaced it to shoot up
High on this fentanyl shit
Can’t take it
Enough is enough
My veins are confused
These streets are too ruff
I keep hitting that same vein crying
Dying
Trying hard not to give up
Sick ’cause my friend overdosed
Tryna’ find what she had
Drooling
Hard
Saliva
Getting high with my dad
Can’t stomach this life but which way do I go
I’m already six feet under
Chasing this dragon far reaching
Plateau
I know these streets are cursed
I’m well versed
I’ve planned out my funeral I have it rehearsed
I’ve been living in this nightmare
A sick fantasy
Reversed
Get well or die trying
Can’t stand feeling this hurt
First things first
Gotta find me a bathroom to get this blood out my shirt
I cry because I want out
I cry because I have to get well
I fantasize about being a little girl again
Playing hide and seek and riding porcelain horses
Carousel
Every day gotta find me a way
Gotta find somebody
Somebody help me get well today
Daddy sister aunty and uncle were junkies
Granny was too
I shot dope in the bathroom everyday during school
Fourteen years old
Daddy shot me up first
Two days later daddy was dead
O.D’ed while at work
I stay high because daddy, sister and uncle are gone
Granny too
Its been thirty years
Acute
And I’m still looking for my shoe string I took out of my left boot

10 thoughts on “Lineage

Add yours

      1. Wow! That’s deep, you just inspired a title, torn between lineage, legacy or inherited, direct correlation to one another. the three titles. Thank you SAHMmelier!

  1. This is real. So is recovery. When we ask for help and do whatever it takes to be well, things will get better. Sounds like someone might be ready.

    1. Yes, it’s a story of many of the clients I work with, it’s generational. I never miss an opportunity to write about something that effects my community so profoundly! Recovery is possible! ❤

  2. Reblogged this on creative writing course and commented:
    “One cannot always tell what it is that keeps us shut in, confines us, seems to bury us, but still one feels certain barriers, certain gates, certain walls. is all this imagination, fantasy? ….”

    https://craigsquotes.wordpress.com/category/andre-agassi/
    https://craigsbooks.wordpress.com/2022/01/13/and-as-imagination-bodies-forth-the-forms-of-things-unknown-the-poets-pen/

    https://craigsbooks.wordpress.com/2022/01/20/ernest-hemingway-quotes-goodreads-craigs-quotes/

    Hi
    Thanks for the follow (+ the ‘likes'(s)
    Happy blogging/writing and all the best with your blog
    “early bird sleepy-head” craig (in “Sleepy Hollow”)

    http://www.craigsblogs.wordpress.com
    http://www.craigsbooks.wordpress.com
    “It always seems impossible…
    until it gets done!”
    – Nelson Mandela
    http://www.mandelamadiba.wordpress.com
    http://www.craigsquotes.wordpress.com
    You CAN…if you THINK you can

    “Put your fears behind you and your dreams in front of you…always.”

    Best wishes from the First City to see the light

    PPS

    Don’t worry about the world ending today
    it’s already tomorrow in scenic and tranquil ‘little’ New Zealand

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