AN E-MAIL FROM MY MENTALLY ILL BROTHER (I CRIED)

This is an e-mail my brother sent me. He suffers from mental illness.

A real bad case of it, I cried when I read it.

I’m hurt

And I’m embarrassed

THERE’S BEEN SLANDER ON MY NAME

I can’t tell anybody else how embarrassed I am

I mean, I just can’t

To show some pride to whose got me embarrassed

When I do that it makes me more embarrassed

Much more

It’s like

I’m embarrassed out of the nicer things of life

I know there is something wrong with me

And I know I’m going to fall to the wayside of life

From being embarrassed of somebody that’s bad

I can’t even get through the gates heave

I feel like I’m going to fall to the wayside  of life sis

The wayside!

Can you save me like some super women?

Or somebody better?

Can you help me move and I’ll go to college?

And do everything you say

Send me a message if you could console me out

And now it’s like I’m embarrassed out of the nicer things out of life

And that’s the only thing wrong

The wayside because of somebody bad

Can’t even get through the gates heaven

And I feel hate to the deep of my blood

Can you save me like a super woman?

Can you save like a super woman?

Can you save me like super women?

Or somebody better

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14 comments

  1. Powerful expressions “The Wayside” and “embarrassed out of the nicer things of life”. I think being acknowledged and listened too, although seemingly small, can help free us from the wayside. It seems you’re listening…

    1. Thank you for visiting, ah yes, the “wayside” of life is an awfully dark side to be on. I know, I have been there before. My hope is my brother will continue to take his meds. This is the clearest msg I have gotten from him in years.

  2. I know how you feel. My brother is 26 and schizophrenic. i hope he can open up to me like this one day. i know his world is hard i want him to know i support him but because of his illness that communication barrier is there. I feel like i can’t get through to him

    1. Thank you for reading this. It is really hard seing him this way because he was not always like this. It killed me when he asked if I can save him like a super woman or someone better. Hurt me to my heart! Continue to support your brother, thats all we can really do ):

  3. “And I feel hate to the deep of my blood”

    What power he has. It may be the lighting in my room, my mood after a long day, being reminded of some of my family members who are paranoid-schizophrenic, or maybe just a long night after a long day at work, but this tore my heart out. This is the voice of so many people that have had such a huge impact on my life.

    Thank you for sharing this.

    1. You are welcome, yes this email was very powerful! “And I feel hate to the deep of my blood” just killed me because my brother has been throug a lot. He harbors an awful lot of imaginary hate. It is really sad to watch.

  4. He’s so talented! Tell him I said this. His poem is beautiful. He is not bad because he has mental illness. All the greatest artists and talents struggled with mental illness. It is part of the territory. Please tell him this for me and ask him to go talk to someone good and get some help. This will save him and he can be his own superman!
    Cheers to you both!

    1. AWEEEE, THANK YOU AND I WILL LET HIM KNOW YOU SAID HE CAN BE HIS OWN SUPERMAN (: HE SEEMS TO THINK I AM A SUPERWOMAN. I GUESS ALL LITTLE BROTHERS THINK THE WORLD OF THEIR BIG SISTERS (: I AM HOPING HE WILL COME AROUND.

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