GOODBYE HEROINE 2 (Poetry W/AUDIO)

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/goodbye-heroin

Goodbye Heroin II

I can’t stop loving him no matter how hard I try.

I will probably hate him until the day I die.

I often ask myself the question why?

He has never been good to me always treated me bad.

Left me ugly alone and feeling sad.

By the way, he’s such a tease.

Cant’ fall asleep without awakening with a cough or constant sneeze.

There’s those days when he’s missing and I need a shoulder to cry.

He was always there but our relationship was one big lie.

I left him once but I felt like I would just die.

I crawled back on my knees.

And he accepted me back without hesitation, he was pleased.

When I left him, I refused him because he killed a friend.

Now I understand why she loved him until the end.

When she was hurting he was the only one to whom she thought she could depend.

I used him and immediately the pain went away.

I remember we began to hang out every day.

I missed him so much because he was always there.

Almost like a game but he wasn’t playing fair.

It took too long to realize he never cared.

I feel like such a traitor, I told her I’d say no.

I saw him one day and we both went toe to toe.

I wasn’t really feeling that good about me.

He whispered try me you’ll feel better I promise you’ll see.

I read one day about the way he met her.

She expressed how good he felt one day in a love letter.

I was scared and for days and days I hid.

But he knew everything even where I lived.

So I fell in love and gave him all I had to give.

It was like I was in a movie no way for a girl to live.

At first I was jealous of their relationship, because I didn’t know.

That eventually all these horrific events would occur.

You the devil…

Yeah, you in disguise.

I bet you never thought we’d break these ties.

How stupid could I be?

I thought he was my friend.

This is my life I’m taking back.

I’ll never let you win.

Devil, you don’t know the strength behind this pen.

That’s why I wrote this poem for everyone to know.

I’m exposing you heroin so take your tricks and go.

FREE ME! (POETRY W/ AUDIO)

http://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/free-me 

TAINTED BY THE BEAUTY OF THE AMARICAN FLAG  

A WARPED VISION

ITS DISGUISE

A RED, WHITE AND BLUE RAG

DEEP IN THE BYOU’S WERE THE BABIES MY GRANDMOMMA HAD

WHILE GRANDPOPPA LOOKED ON ANGRY, POWERLESS AND MAD

LAND OF THE FREE

YOU CANT FOOL ME

THIS RAG IS TAINTED WITH HYPOCRISY

RIVERS STILL TORTURED, DAMS STILL RED

AND SHE USE THAT SAME COLOR TO REPRESENT OUR FUTURE THAT’S STILL DEAD

CENTURIES

OLD HAG!!!!

I AINT GOT NO LOVE FOR THIS CLOTHE

SO F*** THE AMERICAN FLAG!

Please don’t come for me in the comments, it’s called creative freedom ❤

MISTRESS

I met him; I fell in love with him

I knew he wasn’t mines

But he grew on me

Like a 19^th century bottle of

Old money kind’a wine

She knew about us for years

And for years she took a back seat

Because she knew without me

His heart was strangely weak

He was a police officer

And in the line of duty, he was shot

I screamed!

Please tell me he is not dead!

Please tell me he is not!!

He laid in the hospital

In that dreadful coma for 20 long weeks

It was not her body he longed for

Between those hospital sheets

It was hard for her to deny

Because she knew if she did not find me

Her husband would surely die

This woman knew he was in love with me

And only wanted her husband to survive

So willing to do anything

To keep her husband alive

She grabbed his phone

Braced herself

And stood up on her feet

She sought me out knowing

His heart was strangely weak

I laid with him

And she approved of me

In that hospital bed

She silently requested help

And pushed me towards his bed

A few days later he awoke

I jumped up from between the sheets 

And it killed her

As she looked on

Knowing

I was the reason

His heart still beat

Its been three years now

And she is still his wife 

And  everyday

I regret the day

I saved that bastard’s life!

MORNING DEW ( HAIKU W/AUDIO)

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/morning-dew-haiku

The sun brings mourning

Swept away like yesterday

And today I smile

I love his diction! It was time for at least one reblog, I love the word play!

What the fuck is this !?!? – Poetry

http://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/audio-recording-on-saturday

I didn’t mean to give myself to another

He startled me as I turned around.
I heard his manly sound

It was him 

I was caught off guard when he said

What the fuck is this!

I told my husband it was only a kiss

I stood there in the rain as the gel from my curl set ran down my temple

I love you
I said, and again, he said

What the fuck is this!!

I, I, I, as I stuttered to try and find the words

My mistress stood there pleading with her eyes for me to acknowledge her

She wanted me to say, this is the woman I’ve been seeing every day

But I stood there
Blank

As I watched my husband’s heart sink into the earth with the rain

I wanted to reverse this pain

He said again with much more authority

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!!!!
If it was only a kiss why is she crying

I stood there

Trapped
But if I walked away now I knew I’d miss her

We all just stood there

In the rain

Blank

As I thought

What the fuck is this!

VOICE (W/AUDIO) Warning: Very sad poem…

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/voice

 

His name was Tommy and his spirit’s alive and well.

I hope you don’t mind it’s his story I shall tell.

He would be 37 but at the time he was 12.

And for many years his life was a living hell. 

It’s his father he despised.

All his sneaky ways and dirty little lies.

His dad was strange in many different ways.

What Tommy didn’t know is his dad had full blown AIDS.

His dad was in denial; he wouldn’t take any meds.

Every night Tommy’s dad would cry then come lay in Tommy’s bed.

Tommy was 12, to him a man, he knew this wasn’t right.

He’d lay there quiet, he dare not fight.

He was 15 and with every fiber he said NO!

His dad looked at him and they both stood toe to toe.

Tommy stood strong as his dad raised his fist.

This was his life and wasn’t it supposed to be a gift.

Life’s meaning erased.

And even his favorite pie had a bitter taste.

He started feeling strange but he didn’t want to believe. 

His dad had given him this horrible disease called HIV.

Tommy’s life at this point, he felt like he had no say.

Because the thoughts and feelings he was having surely made him gay.

His father died and he was glad to see him go.

He was a constant reminder of this disease and no one else could know.

This thing had him tossing and turning all through the night.

He was tired and said, Toya, I just don’t have the strength to fight.

Tommy let the years pass him by with each passing day.

The truth was he was scared and let fear lead the way.

He was like a shadow chasing the sun until it disappeared.

Tommy was lost and bound to a zillion little tears.

Strangely his first semester class did a project on children with AIDS.

And he decided to take his life back on that very special day.

As he walked through the hospital children marked by sores.

Babies in small bubbles; his heart was completely torn.

He ran to the bathroom and cried until he hit the floor.

He asked God; please tell me what is all this for?

I don’t do drugs.

I don’t sleep around.

And Tommy didn’t want to be gay.

His dad was just a real sick man that took his innocence away.

For all the children who don’t have a choice.

Tommy decided to take a stand and be the children’s voice.

He stood in front of thousands and said…

My name is Tommy and I have AIDS.

And I’m speaking for all the little people who become victims every day.

His body’s 6 feet under but his spirit’s still alive.

And if you’re reading this then his spirit has survived.

This is Tommy’s way of continuing to be the children’s voice.

This is for all the little people who never had a choice.

 

 

                                                Thank you, Tommy.

FALLACIES (30 DAYS OF HAIKUS) REPOST W/AUDIO

http://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/fallacies-haiku

PIECES OF MY DREAMS

FALLACIES OVER TAKE ME

FREE ME FROM MY TRUTH

DECIEVED (POETRY W/AUDIO)

https://soundcloud.com/mentalnotes-1/deceived

Walking blindly into a deep abyss.

Vulnerable…

But still willing to take that fatal kiss.

DECEPTION…

The cover that loomed above.

Drowning in a fantasy of lies and forbidden love.

Smeared with deception so thick it couldn’t be cut.

Needing so desperately to close a door I was unable to shut.

My heart is so heavy and my belly won’t obey.

My mind says one thing, but the ache in my heart won’t go away.

This fantasy I created.

Oh, how I wish it were real.

But my anger won’t let me forget what this man tried so hard to steal.

Its only been a little while.

I was empty.

And so it didn’t take long.

Before my fantasy turned into that same tragic song.

Denial was the essence that enabled me not to see.

That this man was not my future or even part of my destiny.

DECEPTION mailed with a smile.

I could see it for miles but laid in my own denial.

Trails, tracks and footprints so many clues.

Can’t blame him cause I chose to play the fool.

Heart won’t stop pounding thru my chest.

Could be feeling worse thought I had mastered this mess.

Tired of feeling my own heartbeat!

Tired of listening to my own lies!

Though I know the truth I still lie in my own denial!

Got to force myself to eat!

Tossing and turning between my own sheets.

I finally ball myself up in a knot and cry myself to sleep.

Accepting complete defeat.

On my knees praying, crying and begging God for emotional freedom…

But still wanting so, so, so, so, so, so badly just to see him.

Just to kiss him.

Just to touch him.

Justa, justa what!!!!

Well if I knew I wouldn’t be writing so fucking much.

My thinking is so jilted its hard just to concentrate.

But I’m going to hold on and if I do eventually I will be back in a peaceful state.

I will get thru this and there will be another guy and hopefully I won’t have to tell the next one goodbye.

One more thing, I WILL NOT GET HIGH.

 

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

Loveme

PleaseLoveme!

POETIC JUIC (POETRY) I AM NOT A RAPPER W/AUDIO (:

http://soundcloud.com/you/tracks?page=2#play

PERRIZZITES LAY BABIES IN MY BRAIN

FORCING POETIC GERMS FROM THESE MYTHOLOGICOL VEINS

I WRITE AND PUT MY RANDOM THOUGHTS IN MIND CARVED FRAMES

AND I BASK IN MY GLORY PLAYING THIS POETIC GAME

MY PASSION HAS NO MERCY

IT HAS NO SENSLESS SHAME

I’M SWORN TO SECRECY

I HAVE NO POETIC GAIN

Chapter 2

I  SAVOIR EVERY IMAGE

BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO WAISTE IT

RUNNING FROM THE ANTI-CHRIST

BECAUSE I KNOW HE WILL HATE IT

USING THIS POETRY TO SOOTH MY POETIC NERVES

BUT THE TRUTH IS I’M LOST WITHOUT THESE PROPHETIC VERBS

PROPHASEING LIARS SCREAMING IN THE STREETS POETIC WORDS

DEAD WORDS WAS HIS  ANTHEM

AND EMPTY WORDS IS WHAT I HEARD

Chapter 3

I WRITE UNTIL MY FINGERS BLEED

MAKING BABIES TO ADD ON TO THIS POETIC BREED

AND MY GARDEN IS WHERE I PLANT THESE POETIC SEEDS

FOR ALL WHO ROAM MY PASTURES TO MEDITATE AND READ

IT GETS HARD FOR ME TO BREATH

TRYING TO FULL FILL THIS PATHETIC NEED

I TAKE REFUGE IN THESE WORDS

I HIDE BEHIND MY POETIC TREE

Chapter 4

I’M WORDS AWAY

FROM EXPOSEING THIS POETIC TRUTH

YOU CAN’T TAKE ME AWAY FROM MY POETIC ROOTS

MY GARDEN IS RICH WITH COLORFUL POETIC FRUIT

A CUP OF WORDS

TABLE SPOONS OF SPICES

COME DRINK THIS POETIC JUICE

I MUSE JUST TO CONFUSE

FILLING UP ON POETIC SOUP

WORDS DANGLING FROM

THIS POETIC NOOSE

Chapter 5

IT BREATHS ON ME

FEEDS ON ME

BREEDS IN ME

AND WONT LEAVE FROM ME

SO I SCRIBE AND PLANT POETIC SEEDS

I’M ADDICTED TO WORDS

THIS IS MY PATHETIC  NEED