I find Gratitude
There’s those days I wonder what my purpose is in life”
Why I was here and why I was consumed with fear.
I fell asleep obsessing on what the next day would possess.
And what else would the world confess to me.
And how many more awful things will I have to see, with all of the world’s diversities.
I swam thru life like a seed in the womb, anxiously awaiting exposure.
Like a butterfly in its cocoon.
Like the unknown on the moon.
I’m overwhelmed with anxiety and uneducated stares from society, because of my sobriety.
I was just a girl trying to find herself.
I was lost.
I saw women my age, so strong.
Meanwhile everything in my life felt all wrong.
Most days I was so angry I couldn’t even think.
And by each passing moment I sank deeper and deeper into the darkest part of life.
The part I have become strong enough to fight.
I find gratitude when I see the homeless sleeping under a bridge, and people living like pigs.
I myself have been places a rat wouldn’t go.
And had been knee deep homeless in the snow.
I find gratitude when I see babies born to AIDS, and how afraid they must feel.
I find gratitude when I think of the mothers, and guilt will kill.
And if these truths are giving you chills, then you know how I feel.
I feel gratitude when I think of women who have been killed for the taste of the thrill.
I feel gratitude when I think of crack addicted babies with that constant cry.
Doctors working hard, but millions still die.
I find gratitude every time I pick up a pen.
And express today, I won’t let the darkest part of life win.
I find gratitude when I think of the people who have lost their minds.
Walking in the wilderness trying to catch up with the time.
I find gratitude because I have somewhat of a clear mind.
Still a little lost…
But the hope is I am trying to find.
I find gratitude when I hear the birds sing.
I used to hate the noise, now I understand the reason they sing.
I find gratitude every time I feel the sun.
I got another day clean and I’m going to get another one.
I find gratitude when I think of what I have been through.
I am finally happy, joyous and free.
And you can be too.
Thank you, Gratitude.